Thursday, October 6, 2011

I don't feel pretty anymore

My husband tells me that I'm beautiful all the time. I believe that he truly thinks I'm beautiful.

I wish that I felt as beautiful as I look in his eyes. I used to, years ago. When I had the time to straighten my hair and keep my roots touched up (I've been blonde since I was sixteen) and when my face didn't look like the Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza that I joyfully ate half of a few days ago.

On our honeymoon - I felt pretty then
I dyed my hair once during pregnancy - at the start of my 3rd Trimester, and I've touched it up twice since then. The same box of L'Oreal Feria that previously looked blonde, is now a brassy red. I'm pretty sure that pregnancy and nursing hormones are to blame here. AND, the few times I have tried to straighten my hair, it doesn't actually become straight anymore! It looks like I tried to crimp it, and that is not a good look for me {as a matter of fact I don't really think that's a good look for anyone...}

At a friend's wedding recently - my hair is not straight, nor blonde
And if that wasn't frustrating enough, it's actually falling chunks. I have clogged our shower drain with gobs of my hair {not once, but twice} and maintenance has had to come to the rescue. The first time it was so bad they actually had to replace the drain mechanism (seriously??)
Sad lonely hairballs in the shower
So enough about my hair, let's talk skin. My complexion has almost always been a problem. My acne was so bad in Middle School that I was made fun of constantly. I tried so many different creams, medications, and home remedies, and nothing worked until Accutane. My skin looked great up until recently. Now I'm breakout central and I feel like I'm that awkward, insecure Middle Schooler all over again. I took a photo of this, too, but I just can't bring myself to post it.

I loved my straight blonde hair with just a little curl at the end and my clear, smooth skin, but now, I'm a brassy frizzy balding mess with a painful pimply face. Dwelling on this makes me feel so superficial. I have an amazing husband who thinks I am beautiful and an adorable baby, for which I could not be more thankful. Why am I so hung up on the way I look?

So now you know why I haven't wanted to go shopping; I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror. This is also why I post very few pictures of myself on my blog {if you haven't noticed}...

I want to be the Me that likes the way she looks again. Help?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...