Sunday, March 30, 2014

Did she just say "ass"?

We were in the car on the way back from the library when we heard a soft voice from the backseat announce, "aaassss!"

I looked at Mike, shocked. I whispered, "did she just say ass?"

"No, she doesn't know that word. Definitely not."

Aurelia repeated loudly, as if she had heard us, "ASS!!!"

We exchanged embarrassed glances, wondering when (and from whom) she had heard the word. Vowing to clean up what we had already thought was squeaky-clean language, we cranked up the Sofia the First soundtrack and I rocked out to "Bigger is Better".

At home, Aurelia stood up on her tippy toes and reached up to the shelf that houses our Don't Break the Ice game. She loves to play this game. And by play I mean that I fit each of those little white blocks into the square perfectly, and then she destroys it all by punching it. Who needs those tiny hammers that come with the game when your fists make quick work of breaking that ish in 5 seconds flat.

She squealed with delight as the red bear fell in and yelled, "aaassss! ASS!"

It clicks. ICE. She means ICE. Not ASS. WE'RE NOT BAD PARENTS! At least not yet.

The next day she said it again. "Aaassss!" Okay, great. Since we know what it means now I grabbed the game and started painstakingly setting up the blocks of ice for the hundredth time.

But she kept saying it while pointing into the kitchen. She toddled in and I followed her. I had just started boiling water for dinner and had set a bag of rice on the counter. She started getting excited. It wasn't until dinner was served that I realized her fervor was the result of the fact that I had set a plate of rice before her. Looks like "aaassss!" also means rice. Got it, sweet pea.

Fast forward to 6:15 AM Saturday morning. I nursed Aurelia and then set her between us in bed. She climbed on my lap, started moving up and down saying, "aaassss!" It's the crack of dawn and I'm in no mood to play with ice nor cook rice and I JUST WANT TO SLEEP and "ASS! Aaassss! Tottt!"

"Aurelia, it's early in the morning and I have no idea what you want."

I hear a grumble from Mike's side of the bed, "HORSE. She wants you to play horsey with her."

I bounce her up and down on my legs and chant, "riding on the horsey riding on the horsey riding on the horsey trot trot trot." Both of the girls love this game.

And now we know it's all about context, and very slight variations:
If we're in the proximity of the game, and it sounds like "aiisssse" she probably wants to play Don't Break the Ice.
If I'm asking her what she wants for dinner and it is reminiscent of the above, then she wants rice.
If we're romping around (or in bed at 6:15 AM and she's climbing in my lap) and it sounds like "aossse" she wants to trot like a horsey.

Toddler speak deciphered. I dread the day when she says "aaassss!" and there's no alternate meaning.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Filed under: Mommy fail, & finally returning to the land of the living

My part-time working-from-home contract is over, which means I'm back to being a stay-at-home-Mom for a while. I've told my consulting company that at this point in time, I'm only going to consider a a local or remote position that is less than 20 hours a week.

Why? Well, when it comes to childcare we've really struck out. With 3 weeks left to go in my contract, our Nanny sent me a text 5 minutes before she was supposed to arrive on a Monday morning stating that she wouldn't be coming back. She's pregnant, and said it was just too much for her. I get that -- I've worked while pregnant and it's hard -- but MORE THAN 5 MINUTES NOTICE would have been nice. You know?

Mike's work offers a limited number of subsidized backup-care hours per school year so we used a little of that, and for the rest? I took care of the girls all day and squeezed in as much work as I could and then worked all night, too. For 3 weeks. A few days in I was exhausted and by the end I felt like a zombie.

It's nice to be back to just one job now - being with my girls. I've blogged so little in the last 6 months I've missed chronicling a number of firsts, milestones, and fun stories. I might go back and try to recall some in the coming weeks but for now I'm just going to jump in and go from here.

Quick catch-up/what's new:

Carina starts preschool in the Fall two half-days a week. I'm so excited for her to socialize and learn, and I'm also glad that Aurelia and I will have a little bit of just-us time. We ditched the crib when we moved (back in December) and she's been in a full-size big girl bed ever since. I just measured her at the doctor's office yesterday and she is over 30 lbs. and 37.5 in. We've come a long way since the Failure to Thrive diagnosis. I can't tell you how glad I am that all of that is over.

Aurelia is walking everywhere now! Her first steps were at 17 Months and just about 2 weeks ago marked more time on her feet than walking on her knees. She hit 18 Months on Sunday and is talking up a storm; I would guess she says about 50 different words at this point. She's still nursing 3 times a day: morning, before nap, and before bed. Oh and lately? Add twice a night to that. Since we moved she's been up at least TWO TIMES EVERY NIGHT AND MOMMA IS EXHAUSTED. We've chosen this coming up weekend to sort of let her CIO and see what happens. Please wish us luck.

And now onto my Mommy Fail. On my 2nd day not working I thought it would be fun to take the girls out to Toys R Us to buy them a little treat for being so good while I was trying to jam as much work as possible into daylight hours.

I put them in the cart and we headed down the Princess aisle. Of course they wanted to hold the entire contents of the aisle and whined when I put Rapunzel and her pony back on the shelf and cried when I set Baby Princess Anna down (even though they already have her at home!) and completely lost their shit when I insisted that we couldn't take home the jumbo-pack of 6" Disney Toddler Dolls for the low price of $80. "But Moooom, they have Tiana!"

I began to feel like the cruelest {and dumbest} person alive. Take them to a toy store and show them all these cute and fun things that they can't have…brilliant. So I made haste for the Disney Junior section to pick up the Sofia the First sisters doll set I had picked out ahead of time for the girls to share. They looked at it for 10 seconds, definitely excited, but then they spied the Doc McStuffins and Jake and the Neverland Pirates displays and promptly made it clear to me that they needed ALL THE THINGS.

We left that part of the store as quickly as possible and trudged over to a corner that had a train table set up. Perfect. I got them out of the cart and set them down to play for a few minutes. I had barely put Aurelia down when Carina announced to me {and to all the other kids playing} that she needed to go poopoo. NOW.

Aurelia protested getting back in the cart so I carried her while pushing the cart with the other hand and praying that Carina didn't poo her pants on the way to the bathroom, which just had to be all the way at the other end of the store. Once inside the stall I discovered that unfortunately I'd left our portable potty seat at home. So I held Carina in a hover position on the toilet (otherwise she would have fallen in) and pleaded with Aurelia to not crawl on the dirty bathroom floor.

She looked at me, said "go!" and began to crawl under the stall door. Thankfully Carina finished soon thereafter so I set her down and told her to wait, swung upon the door, and chased down Aurelia who had just about made it to the sinks and was still on all fours {ew}. Carina came bounding out of the stall with her pants and Princess underpants down around her ankles shouting, "silly baby!"

I scooped up Aurelia and pulled up Carina's clothes as quickly as possible and made for the cash registers. We were just about to check out when my phone rang. It was work. Of course it was a phone call I had been waiting for regarding whether or not my current customer was going to extend anyone so I spent a few minutes on the phone getting bad news while trying to keep Carina from diving into the dollar bin and prevent Aurelia from emptying the entire contents all over the floor.

Hang up phone. Purchase Sofia doll. Get in car. Put on Frozen soundtrack for the millionth time. Sigh. Drive home. Thank God I had put something in the crockpot earlier that morning.

Welcome back to being a stay-at-home Mom, Mama G ;)

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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Hold the phone

It can't be more than a month since I last posted, can it?

le sigh.

I've got to stop promising posts that don't happen because life always gets crazier than I think it will. And truth be told, a new {slightly embarrassing} hobby has replaced blogging as of late. You ready for this? Here and here. Nothing makes me feel more relaxed than sitting with a glass of wine putting together these bad boys. Anywho, I digress.

Just a couple days after my last post I was offered a new contract that required a 3 day trip to Texas followed by 7.5 weeks of working PART-TIME FROM HOME. Can you hear the Hallelujah chorus? I didn't even have to interview for it -- it was just mine. I can't get over how lucky I've been in all this.

So after 3 days in Austin pumping 'round the clock because hello boobs where did you come from? and learning an entirely new build/change control philosophy -- er, sorry, job stuff -- I was feeling a little overwhelmed. Maybe, just maybe I enjoyed the little bit of autonomy the trip afforded me but in all, with a new job, new Nanny, sad sad separation anxiety on Aurelia's part, and still trying to unpack from the move, I *might* be wishing I still had some anxiety meds stashed away in our medicine cabinet.

Oh well, I've managed. I've been at it for almost 3 weeks now and it's going well. I truly love the work I do and the fact that I can do it while sitting in yoga pants and stuffing my face with Girl Scout cookies (SAMOAS! YES!) while a kitty sits in my lap and purrs? It's awesome.

The new Nanny loves arts and crafts and Carina is having a ball making letters and princess crowns and painting with watercolors. And did I mention the Nanny brought Campbell's Soup in Disney Princess shapes for lunch for the girls on day #2 of working for us? Carina was so excited to see {I think what was supposed to be} Cinderella in her soup.

The downside has been Aurelia's sadness every time I go upstairs. Since her monitor is in our room (where my office is) and we leave it on all the time (or else we hear a neighbor's baby SO WEIRD) I periodically hear her crying, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" over and over again and I die a little inside. She's been wanting to nurse more than our recent 3 times a day and demands to sit on my lap and snuggle at all times.

Only 5 weeks to go. After that? Who knows.

Anyone work at home? How does it work logistically?

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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Catch up

I'm just going to dive back in and avoid mentioning the fact that I haven't blogged in almost 2 months (wait...oops).

Since my last post we've moved, gone to Disney World, and celebrated Christmas & Carina's 3rd birthday ::sob:: with our families. Also, I weaned myself off of the anxiety meds, finished out my work contract, and fell asleep not too long after 10 PM on New Year's Eve with a wine glass in hand. Accomplishments?

More detailed posts on all that and more to come {I promise. Okay, I hope} but for now I just wanted to hop on my poor neglected blog and share my New Year's Resolution:

Blog more, but not let it take over my life.

I think the me from one year ago would be aghast to see how I've let things around here deteriorate, but to be truthful, the me from today is pretty embarrassed looking back at how much this little URL dictated my daily schedule and how badly it contributed to my anxiety. It became an obligation rather than an enjoyment and I won't let that happen again.

Previews of what's to come within the next week or so! I am SO EXCITED to share these posts.

I LOVE OUR NEW HOUSE! (taking a bath with the cousins)
DISNEY! Gaston was sorely lacking adequate chest hair for his character, in my opinion
CHRISTMAS! Santa needs to learn how to check dimensions ;)
And a few other important things that unfortunately lacked the adorable stopping working, weaning off meds, and probably some sort of sentimental holy-crap-I'm-turning-30 post. That's right. I've only got 1.5 days left in my 20's so I'm off to enjoy them.

Happy New Year, friends!

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Monday, November 11, 2013


Has it really been a month since I last posted? Since just a few days after my most recent entry I've been meaning to return here and tell you about any one of the handful of major things going on in our lives. But when I sit down at the computer and stare at a blank screen I don't know how or where to start.

So I'm just going to blurt it all out in one super long run-on sentence or else I'm afraid I'll never start posting again.

At Aurelia's 1 year appointment her doctor asked us to come back for a weight check due to slow growth ::insert mama bear growl here:: and then we signed a lease for a condo and we're moving right after Thanksgiving and just three weeks after that we're going to Disney World and Mike's boss has finally made up his mind and will not be moving the lab to another state and Carina still won't go to sleep before 9 PM most nights.

We're tired. Like, never-been-so-tired-in-our-lives tired. While the move may not seem like the smartest thing to do right now, we'd go even more crazy if we stayed here. We've completely run out of space and Aurelia is still sharing our room. And having only 1 toilet with a potty trained toddler is my personal version of Hell. "NOOO Mommy, it's MY turn to go peepee on the potty and I'm going to bring a book and I'm going to sit there for an HOUR." The new place has COUNT THEM....3 potties. Heaven.

Please don't let me go a month without stopping by here again. Something that used to be so familiar now feels so foreign. I don't think I even remember where to go to check comments. Oops.

Eff you doctor. I may be small but I'm clearly AWESOME.
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