Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Our New Normal

::looks around::

August? Oh, honey.

I can't even finish a full cup of coffee before it gets cold, let alone a blog post. I started this one 6 weeks 3.5 months 7 months ago and have come back to it multiple times but just haven't been able to finish it until now. Such is our new normal. Let's just pretend it's still the end of October and I'm not the laziest procrastinator busiest Mom that ever there was. Shall we?

End of Octoberish
Yeah, oops on not updating sooner. We had a baby! Serafina is doing great and recovery has been a breeze {relatively speaking} this time around but birth story and details to follow; when I have time to write more coherently then mere stream of consciousness.

Three. I'm outnumbered.

I don't work on Mondays or Fridays and preschool for Carina and Aurelia is Tues-Wed-Thurs so it's just me and all three until Mike gets home from work in the evenings.

Today, everyone was sick but Mike, myself included. The baby woke up with a barking cough just before 5 AM and after an hour of nursing and bouncing and soothing she was still staring at me, wide awake. She finally fell asleep on my chest but not before blowing out her diaper. What's a Mom to do? You better believe I let her sleep on me poop and all. Although, I can't blame this on the 3rd child mentality. I've been known to do this before.

This Mom of 3 thing is hard.

Excuse me, gotta go. The baby just woke up crying after a 20 minute nap. Send wine.

At the beginning of the year I started a new job which requires me to go on-site one day a week. I work from home on Mondays and Wednesdays, and on Fridays you'll find me baby in one arm while applying mascara with the other. I've mastered pumping while shoveling Raisin Bran down the hatch and brushing one of the big girls' hair into a pretty ponytail all at the same time.

My heart is full -- I'm the happiest I've been in as long as I can remember -- but I'm also the most stressed out. There's this constant nagging that something needs to be done, or cleaned, or paid, or fed, and the responsibility of everything I do and need to do just weighs on me.

I usually can't see the floor of the laundry room and I'm lucky if I remember to get more milk before we run out. We still have unpacked boxes from the move last year and the toy mess is slowly encroaching upon every single room in the house (even the closet in our bedroom...how does that happen?) I'm sure there's something more I should be doing with Carina to prepare her for Kindergarten in the Fall and with Aurelia to help with her tantrums and sensitivity. And the baby? I don't even remember what I was doing with the big girls at her age...helping them to crawl? Working on words?

Despite all this, I have more smiles, belly laughs, and endless snuggles than I ever thought possible. The girls are so sweet and we have so much fun going for bike rides, playing with dolls, or lining up all of their "guys" and pretending to have epic battles. Carina and Aurelia are best friends and expert big sisters. There's nothing more rewarding than watching these beings that you created interact with each other.

By the time the girls are in bed all I can muster is the energy to stay awake. Sometimes I'm asleep by 10:30, which is early for me. Other nights my mind wanders through all the things that still need to be done and the clock becomes my enemy as it nears midnight. Then it's time to wake up and rinse, repeat.

At least, with this post, I can cross one thing off of the "desperately need to-do" list ;)

Thursday, August 6, 2015


I blinked and it's 5 months since my last post.

A lot has changed.

We moved from Connecticut to Charleston, South Carolina.

We're homeowners.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant today.

I have a new job offer.

Aurelia is potty trained.

Mike is getting his new office set up and teaches his first class in about 3 weeks.

Wait, 35 weeks pregnant? With all the packing and planning for the move, the move itself (16 hours in the car with sick kids and fighting cats is awesome, let me tell you) and unpacking {and still working part-time all the while} it's almost entirely escaped me that I'm enormous and the baby is going to be here so soon.

It didn't hit me until yesterday. When getting dressed I realized that almost all of my maternity tops are too short. Either I grabbed a bunch of mislabeled shirts or I'm simply -- as Aurelia would say -- "huge-mongous". I should probably figure out where I need to go to deliver this baby and take some baby clothes and diapers out of storage or something.

Ohhh becoming a 3rd time Mom is so, so different. I'd love to say it's due to the fact that I'm so much more chill this time around, but the truth is that I only have the brain capacity to keep track of so many things at once and the baby just isn't on my radar yet. I'm sure that will change the minute she arrives, though. I hope?

She. Yes, baby #3 is a girl. We couldn't be more excited. The girls were pulling for either Starla or Somersault, but we've settled on Serafina Anne, which means "fiery one" or "fiery angel". If she's anything like her sisters, her name will fit her perfectly.

Monday, March 9, 2015

"I'm pregnant like Mommy!"

Back in December, it had been a year since Mike and I had started trying for baby G #3. My doctor sent orders to the lab for me to go in for a round of fertility blood work whenever I was ready.

But I wasn't ready yet. It had only been a month or so since I had completely weaned Aurelia and to be truthful, we weren't in any rush. With the possibility of Mike starting a new job in the Fall, we thought it might be smart to try to avoid for a few months so as not to have a baby popping out while Mike was supposed to be teaching his very first college class.

A couple weeks later Mike got his job offer and of course we had to celebrate and of course I wasn't charting or paying any attention to my cycle. And then of course when a few weeks later I realized I hadn't gotten my period in a while and decided to take a test there were two lines. I think I stared at the test in shock for a good five minutes before even showing Mike. Neither of us believed it until we saw the same two lines there a few days later.  

Okay so just three short weeks after Professor Mike embarks upon his career as a professor of Chemistry and Biochemistry, baby G #3 will be making his or her appearance. We're all really excited. And pretending to be pregnant is now Carina and Aurelia's favorite game.

I'm pregnant like Mommy!

The next few months are going to be crazy. We'll be flying down to Charleston soon to look at homes and provided all goes as planned we should be moving in early July. Then comes Mike's job and baby #3.

So far, this pregnancy has been really different from my two previous pregnancies. With Carina and Aurelia, I only ever had some light nausea. Now I feel nauseated almost all the time and have become well acquainted with the toilet :(  And since the girls no longer nap, there is no chance for me to rest during the day.

More to come soon...that is, if I can stay awake at night long enough to write another blog post ;)

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas to all and to Mike a new job

Less than a week and a half into the month of December, Mike had already been on two out-of-state job interviews. Each was for a few days, leaving me with the girls and little space in my brain for much other than what to make for each meal and how to juggle bedtime to get them both asleep while maintaining my sanity. I think it was almost December 20th before I realized I forgot to order Christmas cards or get any presents other than those for the girls. Oops.

But now, we're at my parents' house relaxing for the first time in a long time -- as I'm happy to report that after submitting more than 50 applications and preparing multiple presentations Mike has accepted a {permanent} job as an assistant professor of chemistry in Charleston, South Carolina. Yes, you read that right, we're moving South in the summertime! This has been 13 years in the making for Mike, since he decided that being a professor was his goal when he began college at age 18.

That goal brought him to Wisconsin for 5 years of grad school, and then to Connecticut for 3 years of postdoctoral experience. We cannot be more excited about this {final} move. After 30+ years in COLD (New England or Wisconsin) I welcome nicer weather with open arms. In a few weeks we'll be speaking with a realtor and hopefully determining a timeline for buying our first home down there. I've never been to Charleston and know almost nothing of the area, so now begins quite the new adventure...

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Wednesday, November 5, 2014


::peeks in::

Anyone still here?

When I logged into Blogger tonight for the first time in 6 months and saw that the title of my last post was Realizing I can't do it all, I smiled.

Let's just jump back in.

One morning, about a month ago, I wasn't fast enough when my little miss "do it mySELF" went down too many stairs at once. I scooped her up and hugged her tight, attempting to make everything all better. She didn't seem to be in any pain after a few minutes had passed but she wasn't moving her left arm much. And it looked funny. I called her pediatrician and they went through a long list of questions and apparently a "funny looking arm" diagnosis warrants a trip to the ER.

I picked up Carina at preschool and brought her to Mike's work and then hightailed it to the Children's Hospital ER. The doctor examined her but since she showed no signs of pain she assumed Aurelia was fine. Protocol is an X-ray, though, so they wheeled us together, Aurelia sitting on my lap yelling, "wheeeee!" the entire time, all the way to Radiology. "Fun ride! Do again!"

The doctor was shocked to see that she had actually broken her arm. They sent us back to Radiology for more X-rays (I think the first one was kind of a we assume she's fine courtesy X-ray) "wheeeeee! Fun!" Then came the part where the had to sedate her in order to set the bone and put a cast on and I had to leave the room -- not because they made me, but because I couldn't watch. I sat right outside in the hallway, crying. Blaming myself.

She woke up happy and the hand-to-just-under-the-shoulder cast didn't even phase her. One more trip to Radiology "Fun ride! Wheeeee!" and then we headed home, about 7 hours after we had arrived. Way past her bed time, Aurelia fell asleep on the ride home.

4 short weeks later, she actually got the cast off today. They used a saw to cut it off and thinking she'd be afraid, the Radiology Technician had me hold up a towel so that she couldn't see what he was doing. She kept on trying to move it so she could watch. No fear, no tears. She's been so brave through this entire ordeal.

I, on the other hand, have been a freaking mess. Mommy guilt times a million on this one.

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