Thursday, March 15, 2012

One of the worst things about being pregnant

Pregnant women are faced with enduring a multitude of unpleasantries throughout their nine months of carrying they next generation. They are afflicted by morning sickness and a feeling of general crappiness for much of the time, they experience their bodies growing to {sometimes freakishly} whale-like proportions, and then they must withstand the pain of birthing their babies. On top of this? They have to deal with something else that is unspeakably tedious and frustrating...

...nosy and imposing other people.

Magically, when you become pregnant, everyone around you (including perfect strangers) will begin to throw advice, instructions, recommendations, suggestions, and even orders your way. They will also want to know every single detail about your baby's eventual life. It's as if every other Mom on the planet operates under this {obnoxious} plan: "I'm going to be nosy and ask about your feeding/diapering/sleeping plans in the hopes that they were/are the same as mine. If you respond with something else, I will defend to you my decision and tell you why yours is wrong."

Have you gotten a raised eyebrow or a smile-and-nod while answering someone's prying question yet? If not, it's probably only a matter of time... ;)

"Are you really naming your baby that?"

"Ohh...are you sure you're going to proceed with that decision?"

"Good luck, that didn't work out for anyone I know..."

Once your belly becomes larger and you're obviously pregnant, it gets even worse. "Decaf, right?" responds the barista at Starbucks when you order your Grande House Blend. And looks of horror will arise from those sitting near you when you remove your turkey sandwich from your lunch sack. "Noooooo! NOT LUNCHMEAT!" You'd think you had just bitten into a cyanide and Staphylococcus sub.

And whatever you do, better not touch up your awful scary roots that are in desperate need of attention. Because when people see those perfectly blonde tresses, the looks of disdain might be too difficult for you to bear. You know what they're saying to themselves? "Way to go, Momma, you just made certain that baby is going to come out with three heads...and a tail."

Let's not forget the comments: "are you SURE there aren't 3 in there?"
Last but not least, when you are about ready to pop, it's like the bat signal for those with delivery horror stories and tales of phantom exorcist babies that wouldn't eat or sleep for days at a time. I don't know what it is about hugely pregnant women that screams, "tell me your most terrifying pregnancy/baby story! I want to hear every gory detail before I go through it all myself!"

Now, I'm not actually "complaining" about all this...I am very slow to get offended and mostly laughed off all of the ridiculous comments and advice I received while pregnant with Carina. I truly think it's funny how much everyone else cares about your choices while pregnant and parenting decisions...

Lay them on me. What are the worst or most obnoxious things you have been told or asked about while pregnant?

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