Friday, April 27, 2012

This baby better have a penis! ;)


"You must be hoping for a boy this time, right?"

"A boy would make for the perfect family!"

"Will you be upset if it's a girl?"

So long as deuce cooperates, we should find out whether he/she is sporting a peen or has the tell-tale three lady lines come Tuesday morning. Frankly, I am sick of people assuming that I'm going to be disappointed or even go so far as to cry my eyes out if certain masculine parts are nowhere to be found.

Hewwo in there! (Actually Carina, at 20 weeks)
I really, truly, honestly don't have a preference. I would love a little boy and all the uncertainty that would bring (I grew up with 3 sisters), but I would also really like for Carina to have a sister. And we already have all the girl's clothes and things we would need ;)

"Oh come on, I won't judge, you can tell me which you prefer."

No, really; no preference. I'm always surprised when people push. Is it that hard to comprehend? Does every pregnant woman out there need to have their heart set on pink OR blue instead of pink or blue?

And the concept of the "perfect" family sort-of bothers me. Can a family only be perfect if it consists of at least one boy and one girl? Does a family remain incomplete if the children are all girls or all boys? I think a "perfect" family is a loving family, no matter the size or sex of the people contained therein. Ha, sorry to go off on a tangent...


Tell me! Did/do you have a sex preference? What {ridiculous} comments have people made to you regarding the sex of your baby?

39 words of geekdom:

Meagan said...

I def had a preference. I wanted a girl! I thought it was a girl and looked up girly stuff. I'm surrounded by guys all say every day so I wanted a little girl to keep me company. I was ultra crushed that it was a boy. (so dramatic and trivial I know) but now hea here and hes awesome and the best thing ever.

The Julians said...

I wanted another girl. But I also wanted a boy! But I REALLY wanted a Girl! I grew up with 7 Sisters & 1 Brother.

domesticallyseasoned said...

I know for baby #2 people will ask ALL of these questions too. My response is going to be " we are keeping it a surprise", or we dont want to know"- even tho we really will find out. That way people can stop forcing you to pick pink or blue. I always like the comment that we we are hoping for 10 toes and 10 fingers instead. Kinda shuts them up!~

kjw said...

At the beginning of my pregnancy I had been hoping for a girl, just because I grew up with 2 sisters and have 2 nieces and knew nothing about little boys. As we got closer to the big u/s I just had a gut feeling that he would be a boy. When it was confirmed I was actually really happy to find out he was a boy and now I can't imagine him being anyone other than who he is.

I have a feeling if/when baby #2 is on the way for us we will be getting all those questions, too.

Caroline said...

I will admit to having had a preference - though I would have loved either, I very much wanted a boy (and I got him). That said, I think it's absurd to assume that EVERYONE has a preference. I'm not terribly proud of myself for the reaction I know I would have had, if Aidan had been an Alexa.

The thought that my family is incomplete because I don't have a boy AND a girl is bothersome. Even worse, I am only having one child.

I can't wait to find out of Deuce has the Peen or the Lady Lines. Fingers crossed for health and happiness!

Katie said...

I think it's not really fair to yourself to have a sex preference, because if you discover your baby is the "wrong" sex, you'll spend the rest of your pregnancy disappointed rather than enjoying it. I would love to experience what it's like to have a daughter (okay, okay.. really I just want to buy tutus and hair bows) but if we end up with all boys, that'd be just fine. I'm good at being a boy mom (which came as a big surprise to me, actually) and I know how to "handle" them. You know?

Either way, I can't wait to hear what deuce is :)

Sandy said...

I wanted a girl, I even convinced myself I was having a boy so I wouldn't be disappointed, like reverse psychology on yourself, except you know your using it so therefore it is useless lol. I want the next to be a girl so I can save $ but I wouldn't be disappointed with a boy. If you have a preference, it's nice to get that gender first because I feel like for the next one it doesn't matter as much. At least, that's the case for me.

Shannon said...

I am right there with you, I have no preference. I have thought of our life, either way, and I am happy either way. I think people have this idea in their head of having a firstborn son, then a little girl so she has a big brother, and that's perfect. Well, if my parents stopped having babies after they had their son and then daughter, I wouldn't be here!

I have seen families with a big brother and little sister, a big sister and little brother, two brothers, two sisters....the common denominator is that they're all happy families who love each other. :)

Annie said...

I really wanted a girl! We didn't find out the sex, but I knew other was a boy regardless. Now I love having a boy!

Blue said...

I'm kind of hoping for a boy, just because a little girl version of me seems creepy... like a clone from an alternate universe! lol My hubby wants a girl for the same reason, so we joke about who is going to get the clone :P But honestly, I'm going to be so happy with either, I just want a healthy baby! <3

mgs said...

We really wanted a boy the first time. We have all nieces on both sides, so it seemed like everyone had their heart set on a boy. I believe my first thought when she said, "it's a girl" was, "Oh great, I'm going to get a bunch of pink s**t"
With our second, I didn't really care. A boy would be great for my husband, who still has his heart set on a little boy, and prays every night that the ultrasound tech was wrong. A girl would be a great best friend for Sara.
Surprisingly, I didn't hear any disappointment from people when they find out I'm having another girl. The only thing that bothers me is people telling Sara she'll no longer be my princess (not that I'd ever call her my princess).

Amanda K. said...

I can't agree more on how ridiculous some of the comments can be! We found out this past Wednesday that we're having a boy...but up until then, it was non-stop commentary and opinions. We didn't have a preference either, and even though we made that clear to everyone, we still got the "Oh, come on! You must prefer one over the other!" .: insert eye roll here :.

GL for your a/s on Tuesday...I hope baby cooperates!!

Jenny said...

When I found out I was pregnant, I was REALLY hoping for a little girl. I grew up with both sister and brothers, but something about a little girl really made my heart go pitter patter. Maybe it was all the adorable outfits... Then when we found out we were having a boy I was a little scared of what life would be like. Carson is a year old now and the minute I met him I could imagine having anything other than a son. Having a boy is so awesome! I would be perfectly content having another boy :)

Heather Sullivan said...

I really wanted a girl when I was pregnant but I just knew it was a boy (we didn't find out until D day) and I was okay either way. I preferred a girl but wasn't planning on loving a little boy less. People would ask what I would do if it wasn't a girl? Seriously. What would I do? I guess I would have left him at the hospital? What?!?! People are crazy.

Melanie said...

I wanted a girl (first)- my family is all boys and my husband's family is all boys, and I worried that if I had a boy first, it would be the start of several and I'd never get a girl. My 3-month-old was a girl after all, hooray! Now I'd like at least one boy for follow-up but I wouldn't be upset either way.

kthappy76 said...

Even before we dealt with years of infertility, I could not have cared less which we had, as both are so fun but in different ways. I actually find everyone's comments on our "perfect" family quite amusing given what we had to go through. I like to think my indifference as to their sex is why we had one of each. ;) I'm also one of four girls...

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

This makes me actually wonder why no one has gender pushed us! Meaning "are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" Other than my immediate family asking discreetly and non-judgmentally "what we want". My honest answer is same as you. I have my moments where I want nothing more than to be JUST a boy mom, but then I waiver and reeeeeeally ache for a girl. I do want a girl one day, but I don't know 100% for sure if we'll have a 3rd (or more) baby so for now...I'll be so so so happy with either and we'll be Team Green. Can't wait to hear your news!

Brenda said...

This reminds me of how people would ask my husband if he was hoping for a boy. Everyone just assumed because he was a male that he had a strong desire for a son. The truth is, we were both hoping for a girl. We both grew up with brothers and tons of uncles and boy cousins. I felt a little bad about having a preference but it wasn't a strong one - I just wanted a baby in the end.

ashley said...

Ohhh we got these comments too when I was pregnant with Emily. Then when we told everyone she was a girl, some people were like "Aww, next time" with a head tilt. Um, okay? We have a HEALTHY baby on the way, let's celebrate this, no?

I will say when we found out she was a girl, there was a brief moment of sadness. Not for the girl we were blessed with, but for the boy that will probably never be because we're more than likely riding the two & through boat.

But ALL that sadness went away with talks of sisters, hand me downs, and just the excitement of another girl. Girls are the best! Two are even better.

Kristin & Mike said...

I really wanted a boy first, and was a little disappointed when we found out we were having a girl. I think I equated having a girl to having to be princessy, and pink stuff, and overly girlie things. Then I realized that I'm not that kind of girl, so my daughter doesn't have to be either.

Now that we have her, I definitely would not care either way for a boy or girl the next time. A boy would be nice to carry on my husbands name, but I love my little girl so much, I would love another one (and we could reuse everything we already have!)

I think it's alot easier to not have a preference the second time.

Kaymee said...

I'm not even pregnant with number two yet, and people are already asking me if number two is another boy, if we'll try for a girl! Ugh.

I would love a little brother for Lincoln, but I would love a little sister for him too! We'll most likely be done at two, so unless we have twins it's one or the other!

If I have to be honest, though. My hubs REALLY wants a little girl!!

Carrie said...

I'm not even pregnant, and people ask me if I want a girl next. I want a healthy baby next, and not anytime soon! But I'm super excited to hear what "parts" duece has :-P

Mlog and Clog said...

My husband comes from a family of all brothers and has mostly uncles. When we told his side of the family I was prego they said, "Well, you're going to have a boy because Clarks can't have girls." And then would't you guess? I had a girl!

Mama G @ Growing Up Geeky said...

I'm loving reading all of your comments! It's so funny to me how much other family members and friends seem to have vested in your pregnancies. Like, that they actually really prefer one sex over the other. It's YOUR baby, not theirs! lol...thanks for sharing :)

Sarah said...

I am like you-I had no preference either way for number 1 or 2. Well, the first was a boy and the second is a girl, so now apparently my family is "complete" according to most people. No, sorry-my family would have been just as complete with two boys or two girls!

I cannot wait until next week-I hope Deuce is not shy!

mlcreel said...

I didn't get many comments with this pregnancy (2nd) surprisingly. I did however very much have my heart set on a boy, which is what we are having! I have a 6 year old daughter, and she wanted a brother so badly, so I was hoping that she would get one and now she is! :) Another little girl would have been perfect too!

~C~ said...

This is kind of funny. All my life I wanted a girl so bad. With our first baby, I wanted a girl and knew I was having a boy. Not one bit surprised at the ultrasound. Second baby, 14 months apart, we didn't find out what it was but I reeeally wanted another boy because the first one was so much fun and because they were going to be so close in age. I love the fact that they can share clothes and toys, we don't have to buy near as much this way. We're done having babies and I'm not sad at all about not getting my girl. Life is crazy this way...you will be over the moon no matter what!

Sarah @ It's a Vol said...

I totally agree. People keep telling me we have to have another so we can have a boy and complete our family. 1) If we have another (IF, BIG HUGE IF) I will want a healthy baby, and after that I will want another girl. 2) It is possible to have a complete family with only one, and no, no it is not cruel. I wish we could all just shut up about each others procreation.

Phase Three of Life said...

When I was pregnant with Ryan and people would ask the sex, I would say "it's a boy!" and you wouldn't believe the amount of times I got "Oh, your husband must be so excited!" in response. Right, cuz Mike would be disappointed if it were a girl, right? And obviously I'm not excited cuz I must have wanted a girl, huh?

Rachel said...

I honestly didn't care either - just wanted a healthy baby. But I will admit I was super stoked when I found out my second was a boy. I grew up with all girls too, so having a boy was such a new and exciting adventure!

Katib77 said...

Thanks Missie for remembering you are a family no matter the size. I personally hate dealing with IF, but when people make it sound like a couple isn't a family really pissed me off.

blissfulandwishful said...

Everyone swore #2 for me was a girl. Too bad HE came out instead! I was hoping for a girl, but can't imagine it any differently. Of course now everyone is asking me to try for a girl on #3. Um, yeah, not so much.

Amy said...

#1 was a girl. When #2 came around I was hoping for a girl because I already had all the pink stuff. He turned out to be a boy. I was fine that. The best part is I don't get asked if I'm going to try for #3 in order to get one of each.

Nikki said...

Hahah! With Baby #2 I was actually hoping for another girl... but I never wanted to admit it :) Of course, I would be happy with a boy, but somehow was thinking girl, girl, girl, that I didn't want any amount of disappointment if it was not a girl, so I wouldn't admit it out loud! Well, 2 ultrasounds later, and they're still confident it's a little girl -- I couldn't completely believe them after the first ;)

Lindsey McG said...

I never ever pictured that I would be the mom of boys... It was always little girls in my "mommy dreams". My mom and I are super close and I desperately want to have that with a daughter. When I found out number 1 was a boy, I was ok with it (it was my first, they could have told me it was a monkey and I would have still been excited!). I was dissapointed and a bit in denial for about a week when we found out #2 was another boy. We figured it wasn't going to happen naturally so we began adoption proceedings to adopt a little girl from Russia, and about 8 months in to the process... SUPRISE, I find out I am pregnant with #3! So, we go to the ultrasound and I already knew in my heart... Boy #3 is due in June. Surprisingly, I am not dissapointed this time. BUT, if we do get brave enough to try again, I will find a way to swing the odds in female favor!!

Anna said...

I'll be honest, we wanted to have one of each. I wanted a son first for so many different reasons. He is the first boy in the family to carry our last name, I came from an older sister, younger brother family and always would've liked a protective older brother type thing, my husband really wanted a boy first as well.
After having our wonderful amazing son, I KNEW I wanted to have a daughter. I don't have the best relationship with my mom and really wanted to experience a real mother/daughter relationship. So yes I had hopes that baby#2 would be a girl.
I hate to think that I wouldn't have been happy if either genders would have been different or if I had had all boys. But for me it wasn't "just a gender" thing. I wanted to experience life with a son and a daughter.
Also in regards to other people. I had a few friends who were telling me I was going to have another boy because they knew how much I wanted to have a girl. (which I found kind of snarky)

Julie said...

Well I knew I wanted 3 and I knew I wanted at least 1 girl. When #1 and #2 came and were boys I thought it would be great for a girl to have an older brother. I knew I could have a 3rd boy but I also knew how badly I eventually wanted a girl. Before the ultrasound I knew that if this was a boy too I would be happy it was a boy but I would have to mourn the loss of never having a daughter. I just knew that would have to happen. So when we found out about #3 I had to take a few weeks to say goodbye to the idea of being a mom to a girl. That was hard. I love having 3 boys and I am not sad about it anymore but there are some times I do wish I would have been able to be a mom to a girl.

But I did hate when so many were like, "THIS is your girl!" because I think it made it harder for me when it wasn't. Not planning anymore kids but if for some reason we did end up pregnant I would hate to hear all the comments about it being a girl.

Carolyn said...

It baffles me how much time and energy people invest in agonizing over the baby's gender (and usually it's not even their own baby!) I enjoy speculating from time to time as much as the next person, but then you just have to move on! The gender has already been decided, so it does no good to debate what you think or what you want - it already is! I'm about 3.5 months pregnant right now with my second, and the people who harp on it constantly drive me batty! "Great, you think this one is a girl? Okay, well, we'll find out in June". What more do people want me to say? It's my baby and I love it already, whether it's a boy or a girl, and until we have the anatomy scan, I'm not going to freak out about what the outcome might be ;) (PS - I totally thought you would be having a boy, though, so I was wrong!) :)

Karen said...

with Tristan, I wanted a boy :) now with number 2, I am hoping for a girl mainly because then I'd have a higher chance of getting a kid like me since Tristan is just like his daddy and I'm not sure I could handle another kid like Chris haha. I'll be happy either way but I'm hoping for a child who doesn't act like their daddy :)

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