Hi, I'm Heather. Once a full-time advertising professional from
Chicago, I now reside in Northern California and work from home as a
Social Media Manager. I've been married to Matt for 7 years, and we have a son
Brady (3) and a little boy due this July. I created my family blog, Everything Eatherton, in 2008 to
chronicle my first pregnancy, but now it keeps our family updated on “all things Eatherton”
after our big move in 2010. Last year, I started the blog Mama Dish
with 6 of my high school friends, as a
way to keep in touch (we live in 3 different states and in 3 different
countries!) and to share all the different Mama tips & tales we
would on a
regular basis if we all lived in one place. When I'm not working or
blogging, I enjoy working out, reading and traveling (especially to Las
Vegas!)
Is there something that
terrifies you? Not in a, “spiders are yucky”, kind of way. I’m talking heart
racing, palms sweating, can’t see straight, literally scares the bejesus out of
you?
Flying? Heights? Clowns? Speaking
in front of a large crowd? Wearing a bikini at a pool party?
Up until recently, I could
honestly say that nothing really terrified me. You’ll never find me in the
theater watching a scary movie and I have this really weird thing with styrofoam (and all of a
sudden the bathing suit thing is starting to freak me out a little), but there
wasn’t anything that would send me into a downward spiral of sheer panic.
Then just a few days ago, my 3-year-old
son Brady and I were out running errands and we stopped at McDonald’s for lunch
(I know, Mother of the Year right here). I desperately needed to use the
bathroom (have I mentioned I’m 34 weeks pregnant?), so Brady and I slipped into
one of the stalls before ordering. He immediately started protesting and banging
on the door, “but I don’t haaaaaave to go. I don’t have to go pee pee, I don’t
have to go pee pee!!” “Ok, Brady, we’re not in here for you. Mommy needs to go
to the bathroom. I just need you to stand still and not touch anything.”
Touch, touch, touch. Bang,
bang, bang. More yelling, more protesting, and now he’s opening the latch on
the door. It’s really amazing how much he can accomplish in the time it takes
me to go. Out of nowhere, I start sweating and I think to myself, “is it really
hot in here?”
No. It isn’t hot. I’m
panicking. I’m having a very small, but very real, panic attack. In the
bathroom stall at McDonald’s.
Why? Because literally out of
the clear blue it hits me… and I’m terrified. Very soon there will be 3 of us
in this “getting smaller by the second” bathroom stall. There will be me, and a
3 year old (who will have to go sometimes), and a baby. How in the world is that going to work? How in the world am I
going to manage having 2 children??
You know that famous scene in
A Few Good Men where Tom Cruise has
Jack Nicholson up on the stand, questioning
him about the Code Red. Well I swear
the scene was replaying in my head but this time Col. Nathan R. Jessup was
saying (to me), “You want two children? You can’t handle two children!!”
Oh-em-gee. What have I done?!
When we got pregnant with
baby #2, some of those holy-crap-we’re-going-to-have-a-baby concerns started to
creep on me, but I was able to brush them off rather easily by reminding myself
that I had gotten through it all with Brady and he’s alive and well. Practice
makes perfect and while every baby is different, I felt that I could (probably)
handle whatever came at me this time around. Panic averted.
It wasn’t until that episode
in McDonald’s that I really started thinking about the fact that not only was I
having this baby, and all that that implies, but also that I’m still
responsible for the first one I brought into the world. Both of them. At the
same time.
I’m not going to be able to
“sleep when the baby sleeps”. I’m going to have to feed, dress, entertain and
otherwise enrich the life of a very energetic 3 year old, no matter how tired I
am. I’m going to have to take B to play dates in spit up-covered clothes (if
this babe is even half the barfer his big brother was). I’m going to have to
run around the park and play chicken tag with engorged breasts. I’m going to
have to tell Brady “no, we can’t go for a bike ride right now” when it’s time
for the baby to nap, or put Brady in front of a TV show for a little while when
my little bundle of joy has a major blowout. I’ll probably never use a public
restroom again.
I’ll get through it, I tell
myself. I can totally multi-task. People have more than one kid all the time.
Heck, some crazy people even have 3 or more kids. They manage to get dressed.
Eat. Go to the store. Get some sleep. I can do this, no problem.
So why do I still feel
terrified every time I think about it? Is it the hormones? Is this one of those
“this too shall pass” situations? Because my heart is racing and my palms are
sweating just writing this post. I am so excited to become a family of 4, for
my husband to have 2 sons, for Brady to have a little brother. But the thought
of me having 2 children still scares the bejesus out of me and the clock is
ticking.
Am I crazy, or do most Moms
go through something like this? Please tell me I’m not alone. And please give
me lots and lots of good advice to help me get through this!!
Ok now you've scared the bejesus out of me, too! But? I think we can do it! Thanks for sharing your fears with us, Heather! You can catch up with Heather at Everything Eatherton and Mama Dish.
