Friday, August 3, 2012

Domestic Un-divas of the world, Unite!

Beep beep, beep beep, buzzed the timer. The cookies were done! I grabbed the oven mitt and slowly opened the oven, only to be greeted by a cloud of hot, hot air and nothing else. The oven was empty. A tad startled and embarrassed, I glanced across the kitchen and saw the uncooked cookie dough still sitting on the baking sheet. ::sigh::

Not a big deal if I didn't need the cookies for a party for which we had to depart in ohhh let's say, 5 minutes.With its beady chocolate chip eyes, I swear I caught one of the cookies mocking me. Scrumptious chocolatey asshole.

Despite spending a significant portion of my life following recipes/protocols for scientific experiments and procedures, somehow I was never able to master cooking or baking. Whenever I attempt to make something edible, one (or sometimes more) of the following occurs:
  1. I forget to add an essential ingredient; you don't want to know how brownies sans cooking oil taste...
  2. I burn something; wait, simmer doesn't mean to cook on high?
  3. As in the case with the cookies, I start the timer but neglect to place the food in the pot or oven
Those of you out there who are fantastic cooks; I am truly jealous of your culinary prowess. I so badly want to be one of those Moms who can whip up a gourmet meal with no need for a recipe or any prior planning. However, given the list of weaknesses above I think I should thank my lucky stars that I haven't reduced our house to ashes just yet. I'm afraid that this is one of those times when I just need to learn to accept my shortcomings...

So, I solemnly resign myself to continue following recipes from the Cream of Mushroom soup can label or the back of the StoveTop Stuffing box. I will continue to pray that these dishes turn out somewhat palatable and God willing, that they do not turn into incendiaries.

Ladies who (like me) hide behind that blue box of Mac & Cheese in trepidation, I raise my misused and {slightly} abused spatula to you in solidarity - and so does Carina. Fear not, for our worth as wives and mothers is not based upon the quality (or edibleness) of our epicurean endeavors.

On that note, I must cross my fingers and go remove the frozen pizza from the oven. I hope I actually put it inside the oven before starting the timer this go-round.

Originally published at Jenni from the Blog (who, by the way, is partying it up here in NYC with me this weekend!)

Click To Vote For Us @ Top Baby Blogs Directory!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...