Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thank goodness for amnesia! Or, why anyone ever gets pregnant again

Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. I'm talking about the amnesia that seems to settle in just a few months after squirting your baby out of your hoo-ha. You tend to block out the circus freak hugeness of the very end of pregnancy {and all the joy that comes with it}, the pain and carnage associated with the birthing of your baby, and then the sad, flappy, and damaged body with which you are left. Otherwise? Would anyone EVER get pregnant again?

Let's relive it all together, shall we? ;)

The last few {miserably uncomfortable} weeks of pregnancy

Things I had forgotten about until now:
  • Insomnia
  • Sciatica
  • Swelling - hello cankles!
  • How I couldn't even walk up the stairs without getting winded
  • General incontinence - make me laugh and I'll cut you 
  • The "WTF is that??" moments I had when I wiped down below on occasion
  • How monstrously huge I was
38 weeks with Carina...she came 3 days later

During labor

The labor pains, once so horrifying and severe that you literally thought something would explode out of your ass, somehow end up subsiding into a distant memory. The contractions, back labor, discomfort of the continuous blood pressure monitoring, {insert whatever you personally experienced here}, were all virtually erased from your consciousness as your baby was placed into your arms for the first time.

The Aftermath

Until I re-read Carina's birth story last week it was almost as if the post-labor uterine massages (EFF EFF EFF OWWWW), the urethral stitches, and the subsequent weeks of bleeding had never happened. I think it was a month before I could brave the bathroom sans peri-bottle, Dermoplast, and Tucks. When my milk came in 3 or so days after she was born I felt like I got hit by a truck and convinced myself that I must have a uterine infection. NOPE. Just the milk. (Side note: seriously, why doesn't anyone tell you that feeling like that when your milk comes in is normal?!?) At two days post-partum I was carrying around what I affectionately referred to at the time as the "saggy bag of jello". Despite all this and how hard it was to endure, we found ourselves trying to get pregnant again before Carina was even 9 Months Old! MUST be amnesia.

After baby bare belly, post partum bare belly
2 days post-partum: this is NOT a good look for me

Ohhh my 1st time Mommy friends out there - I'm not trying to scare you, promise. You can and WILL do it, and you'll probably end up with amnesia, too, because it's likely you'll find yourself pregnant with another at some point in the future. The {sometimes scary} memories will fade, the pain will go away, and you'll be left with your precious little baby.

I just wanted to reminisce since this is all knocking at my door...once again. But you know what? After a momentary freak out which involved a minute or so of sobbing and mourning what is to become of my belly and lady parts, my attitude changed: BRING IT. I can't wait to meet this baby.

What other unpleasantries have you "forgotten" when it comes to the end of your pregnancy, labor, and afterwards?

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