Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Weaning fail

No, not Aurelia.

Me. Zoloft.

I'm one of those obnoxious procrastinators who waits until their medication has run out before requesting a refill. After working as a Pharmacy Technician for years, you think I'd know better...but anyway, so I order it online and go to pick it up last Tuesday. Except they tell me there were no refills left so I'd have to come back. I requested they check the original prescription because I knew there were refills, but they couldn't because their computer system was down. Awesome.

So I forgot about day, two days, three days. On Saturday I told myself that no matter what I had to go get it. And then we got sidetracked. Monday came around but hey, I thought to myself, I've been feeling pretty good. Maybe I could just stop taking it?

Well, here we are just over a week since I've had my last pill and today was the nail in the coffin on my attempt to let go of SSRIs. I've been anxious as work is beginning to demand more of my time than I'm able to give and people are pulling me in all sorts of different directions. Tonight I have to do a ton of laundry and pack us all up for our trip to visit my family in Cape Cod this weekend. And both girls won't stop screaming; it's almost 9 PM and they're both still awake, PISSED. I feel myself beginning to shake and panic and I know it was stupid of me to try this.

All I want to do is crawl in a hole and fall asleep...only to wake up on the beach this weekend where I will hopefully get the chance to relax. Nothing is going to stop me from swinging by the pharmacy and grabbing my prescription on the way out of town, though.

I so badly wanted to not need it, but I'm just not there yet. le sigh.

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