Monday, March 15, 2010

Teeny Tiny Vent

It really bothers me when people don't want to start trying to conceive (TTC) at a certain time or want to take a break from TTC so that they will have a baby during a specific time of the year. Now, if you are planning around a tangible event (say you are moving and don't want to be 9 months pregnant), I completely understand, and my little rant doesn't apply to you.

I'm talking about those people who just "feel like" having a spring/summer baby, or those who want to avoid having a due date around Christmas so that their phantom baby won't get fewer presents. My birthday is January 3rd and I quite often got dual "birthday-Christmas" presents. Did it bother me at the time? Maybe a little. Would I sit a cycle out (when you only have a 20% chance of conceiving per cycle) so that my phantom baby will get his/her fair share of presents? Not a chance.

I just don't get wanting to have a baby, but only during a certain season of the year, etc. M and I would be ecstatic to have a baby anytime, no matter when, no matter the circumstances. Our desire isn't conditional. I guess that's the bottom line; I don't understand how some people's want of a baby can be conditional. It saddens me that they wouldn't be happy to accept a baby at any time, and that the reason why is so superficial.

::steps off soapbox::

10 words of geekdom:

Mrs. W said...

Completely agree Missy!

pinkflipflops said...

Yet those people probably haven't had a89w34u384 cycles of no either. blech.. can you tell i am not in a happy mood ?

Zookers said...

Amen Missie! Here's hoping for a 2010 Christmas miracle for the both of us!

PinkLove-S said...

I agree! I am a December baby and my mom always made a point to celebrate separate. I don't see what the big deal is! I'm hoping for it actually and don't want it only when it is convenient, i want a baby!! Here is to us taking what they are passing up!

ThisBlissfulJourney said...

I totally agree!! I don't care when I have a baby, just as long as I HAVE one! Who am I to say when is a good time and when isn't?

Samantha said...

Obviously these people have no trouble conceiving... I have the same issue with people who scoff at 'older' parents - my MIL likes to say that she wouldn't have kids at all if she didn't have them before she was 35ish... (Because then none of her friends would have kids anymore) and I always tell her she shouldn't really say anything since she had a child immediately when she wanted one - at 21 years old - and maybe she would want kids at 35 or older if she had been waiting all that time... I know I still would. So annoying...

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

Ok, I gotta speak up for the other side, ladies...

I will always plan to have my babies in the late fall/winter. Why? For my own sanity and family life. If I have a baby during April-May-June my husband is not home. If I have a baby August-September-October...my husband is not at home. We are grain farmers and those are his busy months. I am the kinda gal who not just needs, but WANTS my husband home when we introduce a baby into our family. Especially with #2 on the way, I wouldn't purposefully plan to have my babies during those 6 busy months and have to single-mom-it. My husband works 16+ hours a day, I would have NO help, why would I put myself through that, especially when God has blessed me to have that choice?

My son was born at then end of January and my husband has an extremely flexible work schedule until the middle of April. It was glorious. This time I'm due at the beginning of November, my husband will have just wrapped up the busiest time of the year on the farm and I will have him home with me on a very flexible schedule again until our baby is almost 6 months old. My question...why would I NOT plan to have my babies this way? This gives us optimal time to be together and bond as a family, rather than "rushing" it with a spring/summer baby.

If I was struggling with infertility, which praise God I am not, I would not stop trying. But with our farming life style and my mom living 3 hours away, I have NO HELP from anyone if I have a baby during farming months.

My want of a baby isn't conditional at all. But as I started off this comment with, God has blessed us with a choice and I'm taking His blessings. It took us 3 months to conceive Braden and 1 month to conceive this baby and I don't take that for granted any single day. If we ever had an "oopsie" baby and EDC was spring/summer, I would love that baby just the same as my winter babies.

Aaaaand I'm going to step off my soap box now. But I hope you can understand my side of things as well.

Melissa @ Growing Up Geeky said...

@Sarah - Glad it worked out for you! I think your situation is a little different than people who don't want their Christmas-birthday baby to get shafted on presents, or share a birthday with a family member or something superficial like that. I think if I were to write this post all over again I would be more clear on that ;)

basebell6 said...

I am perfectly aware of all the infertility problems that can arise and how everything can't always go as planned; how we should welcome every child anytime of the year.

However, if planning works, I'm actually with Sarah on this! If my baby had been born in May, I would have only gotten one full year for leave from my job. If he was born in July, a two year leave. It is crazy but it goes off the school year. If we hadn't gotten pregnant in the October - January time frame to have a July - November baby, we would have waited to try again the next calendar year.

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

I totally hear you! Thanks for the comment! I would never not try for a certain holiday or something that's getting a bit picky, IMO.

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