Thursday, May 26, 2011

One of the worst things to say to brand new parents...

..."I don't see a vaginal opening."

Well, I guess if you just had a baby boy, this is probably a good thing to hear.  However, if you just pushed a little girl out of your hoo-ha, you're probably hoping that she has a tiny va-jay-jay of her own.

This is what was said to us so casually and nonchalantly by the nurse who gave Carina her first bath.  "Here's how you wipe her eyes clean...make sure to get in between her toes...I don't see a vaginal opening...be careful around the umbilical cord area."

Umm...what?  Rewind.  No vaginal opening?  Please tell me this is a joke?  "Oh, just ask your doctor when he comes in tomorrow."  Tomorrow?  You mean we have to spend almost 24 hours wondering if our perfect baby girl has a vagina or not?

So until the doctor's visit the next morning we decided not to think about it.  Easier said than done, right?  All I could think about was how our sweet little princess might not be able to experience the joy of holding a newborn baby in her arms someday.  This definitely took away from my being able to enjoy the moment myself.  How would she have sex (30 years from now)?  Would she need some sort of cosmetic procedure done?  Would she be teased mercilessly if anyone ever found out?  Cue the waterworks.  Hours after birth + super hormonal + this potentially devastating news = one mess of a new mother.

The next morning, the doctor told us he had noticed this shortly after delivery, but didn't tell us because he didn't want to worry us (side note: that nurse seriously sucks at life).  He said that it happens every now and then and it's usually swelling due to hormones and goes away pretty quickly.  It wasn't gone by our 1 week appointment, though, so he gave us a referral to a pediatric gynecologist.  I didn't even know such a sub specialty existed.

We saw the pediatric gynecologist about two weeks later.  The doctor did a quick exam and told us that she is fine.  The opening had been obscured by a cyst, but it had subsided and all was well.  No missing lady parts here, thank God.

I didn't mention this previously because we wanted to make sure that it was nothing before we shared it.  Otherwise I don't know if she ever would have forgiven me for making it public.  It took me this long to write because I just don't even want to think about it.  And now that this post is written, I am never going to think about it again.

My blood boils thinking about how badly I want to throat punch that nurse.

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18 words of geekdom:

Kristen said...

I'm so glad that everything is fine!

What a horrible nurse. You should have complained!

Josefine said...

Oh, that's horrifying. I'm glad all is well.

Katie said...

Oh wow, I have never even heard of this.
Sometimes medical professionals say the worst things. (I am in nursing school, so I hear some of the dumb stuff)
Glad Carina is okay!

Samantha said...

Thank god she is ok... I'd be talking to that nurse's supervisor.

Katy said...

That is crazy! I would have slapped her!!
I'm glad everything is ok now :)

Cara said...

Wow...that nurse, seriously? I hate how cavalier they act at times!

I know they're dealing with day in, day out stuff but they need to be reminded that each case is unique.

My son failed his hearing test and this had me in FLOODS. The nurse doing the test said something insensitive along the lines of; "Oh don't worry, it happens sometimes and they have an okay life if they can't hear!" Um, number one that is insulting to Deaf people - as if all they can expect to achieve out of life is an 'okay' existence. And number two, what the hell? Let's back up here a second you're telling me my son might be potentially Deaf and that's no biggie?

Yeah, not much. We'll just have to learn a new language and shield him from Doofuses like you, but it's no skin off your nose!

Well, a couple weeks later he passed his second hearing test and I felt so smug walking out of there, like I'd aced an exam! Haha.

Mama G said...

Thanks, ladies. We were in so much shock about it, and we didn't even know the nurse's name, or else I probably would have mentioned it to someone.

@Cara - how awful. I am so glad your son passed the second time around!

B.J. Caulfield said...

Wow! I have 2 girls and I had never heard of that happening before. I had c-sections so maybe that had something to do with it? Glad your sweet baby is alright! I swear, nurses in maternity apparently only know how to make you worry about your baby or feel guilty for not doing something right. As if we're not emotional enough! After we brought our second baby home I was sobbing and sobbing because a nurse made me feel horrible for giving her formula. :( Ugh.

Sarah :) said...

Oh my gosh, Missie. I remember you saying something about going to a pedi gynocologist, but now knowing the details, you must have been an absolute wreck. I am so thankful that Carina is happy and healthy in every way. ((Hug))

Amanda said...

I've dealt with my share of idiot nurses. Sorry you had to go through that and I'm gladd Miss C is a-okay! :)

anonomity said...

HOLY COW, I think I would have punched that nurse!!! Some people, especially medical professionals, seriously need to think before opening their big fat mouths!

I'm so glad Carina is ok though. What a relief! :-)

*magnolia* said...

Oh my! I'm so glad everything is okay with Baby C's lady parts! What a terrible nurse. Ugh.

Ainslie said...

First of all I am soooo glad that your beautiful little girl is healthy and happy and all is well! Second of all I want to punch that nurse in the face for you!!! We actually went through something similar when Forrest was born. Forrest was born with a small dimple in his spine and again, a terrible nurse was the one to tell us and actually said "It could be something like spina bifida, the doctor will check it out tomorrow". We, like you guys, were FREAKED. I was sooooo scared and upset and hormonal and and and (insert all terrified emotional adjectives here). The next day finally came (although it felt like forever) and the doctor came in. he assured us he was pretty certain the dimple was closed and not open (meaning everything was fine) but he ordered an ultrasound to be sure. Thankfully everything was fine on the ultrasound and we have absolutely nothing to worry about but at the time hearing the words 'spina bifida' shook me to the core!!
I think all doctors and nurses should be required to take madatory bedside manner training every single year!!!

Kristin said...

Oh wow. That is crazy!! So glad she has all her parts. That nurse shouldn't have a vaginal opening- she should have your shoe there instead. Unbelievable.

e and w said...

Wow! yea that was super wrong of her! So glad all is well :) But that does suck you had to spend your first night in such a panic!

Katib77 said...

So glad to hear Carina is healthy! I cannot imagine the fear and sadness you and YH had to deal with that day. I know it's well in the past but ((HUGS)), even writing that had to be hard. You are such a strong women & Moma!

mombo880 said...

Yay for va-jay-jay!!! Sucker punch for the moronic nurse! So glad your baby girl is fine :)
New follower from the Hop - hope you can stop by: www.dorothymcfadden.blogspot.com

Mama G said...

@Ainslie - OMG I didn't know! I am so glad Forrest is okay; how terribly scary :(

WHY do healthcare professionals do this to us?

Again, thank you so much for all of your kind words, ladies.

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