Thursday, June 2, 2011

Getting cold feet

I return to work full time less than two weeks from now.  I've been working part time since the end of March, and have somewhat enjoyed it (except for my first day back pumping fail, haha).  While I don't particularly like being away from my little peanut, it is only for 4 hours a day.  I feel compelled to confess that a little break is refreshing; I never thought it would be so hard to be completely responsible for another human being all day every day.  Those few hours at work each day help me feel productive and let M have some quality bonding time with Carina.

But now, with my first full time day lurking in the near future, I feel sick.  The thought of being away from her for almost 9 hours a day is literally making my stomach churn.  I keep reminding myself over and over that it's only until September 2nd - I have already put in my notice in preparation for our next step!  Only until September.  Less than 3 months.  I can do this.  Right?

Working Moms, do you have any advice for me?  How did you feel before going back?  How is it going so far?  I would really appreciate your input :)


11 words of geekdom:

Mishu said...

I hate working. It hasn't gotten better and my milk supply has significantly dropped. LO is being exclusively BF-ed bc of my frozen stash. I went back at the end of April and I still cannot adjust... I am always SO tired and I avoid doing anything when I get home, all I want to do is snuggle with LO. LO seems to like her babysitter so much that she screams on weekends for her... who would have thought? I just wish I could have stayed home her first year with her, it kills me. Three months will go by quickly for you guys, you'll be busy preparing for the move and what not, plus there is some comfort with an end in sight. Good luck and take it easy!

Sara said...

The anticipation was the WORST part. I felt sick to my stomach for a good month before I went back & cried everyday my last week. But, it has gone so smoothly. I spent time with DD in the mornings and evenings and cherish our weekends. Being a working mom is HARD, but it's best for us and it really is working out well. My DD is EBF and I have had NO problems keeping up my supply and being able to pump more than enough for the next day. GL!

-Sara (i'm on TB:) )

Heather said...

I felt the same way. I hated the thought of going back to work and leaving her at daycare, but honestly the days leading up to it were WAY worse than the actual day I went back to work. It was hard the first day but it got way better, really fast! And this is coming from someone who HATES people leaving/going away. I get upset just when Kyle is away for a night. Lame I know lol.

But anyway, I miss her bunches of course but I know she has lots of fun while I'm gone and I just make the most of our time together at night and every weekend. Also, the lady that watches her randomly sends me txt pictures which always brighten my day! Once your little one is more active, you will enjoy the break. (does that make me a bad mom? Lol).

Also, as far as milk supply, I noticed no difference after going back to work.

So try not to worry. It is good for both of you and luckily for you, it's only 3 months!! The time will fly by!!

Judy Whatilivefor said...

Hang in there! I am in awe at moms who work full time and don't know how you do it!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and following. I am following you back and look forward to seeing more of your blog :)

Unknown said...

I go back in August and I'm already sick just thinking about it. I've also already shed a few tears about the thought of being away from my baby.

Lil Mama Stuart said...

Thanks for stopping by :) I'm on the other end of the spectrum with your above commenters. No anxiety about going back. And am totally fine at work. And yes it's a wonderful break to have some alone time, even if it is at work. I pumped 4 times a day (2 at work 2 at home) until she was a year old, no problem for either of us. She doesn't care much that we're both at work, until recently and she's 16 months old.

Katy said...

I have no advice, but good luck to you! Will you be working when you move?

Mama G said...

@Mishu - I'm really sorry :(

@Katy - I will not be working when we move :)

I'm glad to hear that the anticipation was worse than the actual return to work. Thanks for your insight, ladies.

Katie said...

It is definitely hard to be away, but it makes the end of the day so exciting, when you get to come home and snuggle your little one. My advice: Keep lots of pictures and videos close by so you can look at Carina's sweet face while you're at work. Have your caregiver send occasional pictures or vids, too. That's the best!

Kristin said...

I went back full time after 12 weeks. The anticipation is much worse than actually going. I was looking forward to it because I really needed the adult interaction. I'm excited to see her at the end of each day. I also feel like I'm a better mother and wife when I'm working. I have motivation to cook dinner, clean (er...sort of!), I have more energy in general.
You can do it! GL!

...heather... said...

I went back after nine weeks and had the EXACT same feelings. I cried daily for about two weeks leading up to d-day and made myself sick thinking about it. But, that morning when I left for work, I totally surprised myself and only teared up a tiny bit. For some reason the next day was a lot harder but, as the days wore on, it got easier and easier.

While I hate not being with her for the whole day, it makes the evenings and weekends that much better. You'll probably find yourself being even more focused when you're spending time with her. I feel like I am so much more present with her than I was before going back to work... she gets my 100% undivided attention in the evenings, and we have so much fun!

You can absolutely do this!!! You're so lucky (I know you know that ;) ) that you're going to be a SAHM in September! FWIW I've been back at work for 2.5 months and it has FLOWN by. It seriously feels like yesterday that I was still on mat leave. Your short stint of full-time work will probably be a distant memory in no-time.

Bring a photo for your desk and get tons of snuggles, kisses, and lots of play time in, in the evenings. In the blink of an eye, you'll be back at home, maybe wishing you still had a little time for yourself built into each day ;)

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