Saturday, July 23, 2011

Time to be honest with you (and myself)

Since going back to work full time 6 weeks ago, I have been completely overwhelmed.  There just aren't enough hours in the day to work, play with Carina, cook dinner, keep up with housework, spend some quality time with M, blog, and sleep.  Sleeping usually gets the shaft. 

Before Carina was born, I savored my ~9 hours of sleep a night.  Lately, with Carina waking around 5:30, I am lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep a night (I realize that this is probably a lot more than many Moms get, and I sympathize).  I think my body really needs more than I have been getting, because right now I'm a walking trainwreck.  I'm clumsy, I'm forgetful, I have no energy for anything (ANYTHING - sorry, M), and I feel like I'm just getting through the day.  There isn't much enjoyment; I'm just trying to make it through.  This is not how I wanted to spend part of Carina's first year of life.

Only one more month of work to go - and then I am done indefinitely.  I am counting down the days.  I just wish we had more of a solid plan in place for our move.  M has his post-doctoral fellowship lined up (with a flexible start date) and we are moving, but that's about all we know.  We don't know when, we don't know where we'll live, and we don't know how we'll get ourselves, Carina, two skittish cats, and our mountains of stuff there in one piece - safely and sanely.  These uncertainties are driving this type-A uberplanner crazy.

Fortunately, my Mother-in-law is arriving tomorrow and staying for a week and a half. She is going to help cook, clean, take care of Carina, and pretty much help me regain my sanity. After she leaves, my Mom is coming out for a long weekend. I am tearing up right now thinking about how grateful I am that they are both visiting because I honestly think I would be having a nervous breakdown if they weren't. ::breathe::

I can do this, right?

P.S. While the Moms are here I won't be blogging quite as often, so I have asked a few Mommy bloggers who inspire me to guest post in my absence.  I hope you enjoy :)

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14 words of geekdom:

Erin said...

I know this overwhelming feeling all too well. And yes, sleeping typically gets the shaft in my daily schedule as well. I know you can stick it out to the end and am certain with a little help you'll survive the mood too!!

Kristin said...

Oh hon, I was like this a few months ago, just surviving. I know you are SO tired but I am SO excited you will be a full time SAHM soon! You are going to LOVE it. And you will get alot more rest and be able to nap when Carina naps and catch up on sleep. I napped when James napped for the first 10 months because I was only getting about 5 hours of sleep a night. He has just started STTN really well so I just read when he is asleep now. Things will continue to get easier. James really started getting easier around 8 months- like ALOT easier, because he could entertain himself with toys and I could sit down and just watch him and have a cup of coffee. XOXO

SSG said...

Oh Mama, I totally get it. Working SUCKS. I agree with Kristin, the sleeping thing gets better as they get older. And it is awesome when they can play on the floor with toys, Carina will be there soon! Now that she can sit on her own you can put her on a blanket with some toys on the floor, Boppy behind her, and she will be fine for 20-30 minutes so you can get some stuff done on the computer, read, drink your coffee, etc.

anonomity said...

I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. I hope things start to get better for you guys soon!

Lacey [The Southern Mommy Chronicles] said...

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this :( I do believe that your mom and MIL coming for a visit will definitely help. I'm glad you seem to have such a solid support team. It will get better.
Sending much love, thoughts, and prayers to you, YH, and sweet Carina.

The How To Mommy said...

I'm glad you've got some help coming and I hope your readers like me! :-D

Little Gray Pixel said...

You've described my life. But, just think, you have a light at the end of the tunnel! I'm stuck with work indefinitely. Ugh.

But husband just bought lottery tickets tonight, so there's always that slight chance in hell. *Fingers crossed*

diana said...

I hear ya!!! I've been back to work almost the same amount of time. Sleep definitely gets the shaft, and I, like you, and maybe getting 5-6 hours a night. I put everything aside while Logan is awake, and try to rush to get everything done once he goes to bed around 9. It's rough. Unfortunately I don't have an end date to working... Hopefully I'll adapt as we go.

B.J. said...

I understand!!!! Oh my gosh! My husband was in the Army and we moved like a month after our second baby which I do not recommend! Ugh, I was just postpartum out of my mind! Our last move was less than a year ago and we were really stressing about finding a place to live (which always happens when we move...never seems to be a smooth thing :P). We believe the Lord worked it all out for us. Now I don't know what your beliefs are, but I definitely think He is working things out for you guys in your move. Your hubby is meant to do his post-doctoral fellowship so everything will fall into place. :)

My mom stayed with us 3 weeks after we had Autumn. It was so glorious! I could still tear up thinking how amazing that was.

Amy said...

If you plan to have another baby, it gets worse. LOL

Hang in there, its not always this hard. You will find a way to do it all and still sleep. :)

Anonymous said...

Spend less blotting and more time doing something productive?

Melissa @ Growing Up Geeky said...

@Anonymous - I don't do any blotting? Do you mean blogging? Blogging is my "me-time", the only "me-time" I get every day. So to me, it is productive.

Catherine said...

I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. :( You have very articulately described my worries about working and my struggle to decide whether to work when the twins get here! Hope your mom and MIL's visits help you recharge and relax. :)

Melissa @ Growing Up Geeky said...

Thank you so much for your kind words, ladies. And I am sorry that a few of you feel the same way right now. No fun at all :(

I hope you start to feel better soon! <3

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