Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Can you get PPD this long after baby comes?

Carina is 10 months old. I don't have to wake up every 3 {or so} hours at night to feed her. She doesn't cry regularly anymore and her issues with spit up are long gone. She isn't the needy newborn that she used to be. So why does everything seem so hard right now?

Lately I am having trouble getting to sleep, and feel like crying all the time. It's almost as if I am just trying to get through each day. I'm not finding joy in anything. Most nights I can't wait to lay her down to sleep so I can have a break. But then, once she nods off I find myself feeling empty and alone {M is working all day every day to finish his thesis; I'm lucky to see him for an hour a day}.  

I have no motivation to pack for our upcoming move, plan playdates, clean, blog, or talk to friends and family. I have begun to dread going out with Carina because more often than not it results in a messed up nap schedule that makes the rest of the day a nap-strikey nightmare.

This isn't me. I'm not an empty, apathetic, joyless person.

I don't recognize myself physically or mentally.

I mean, how could anyone not be happy to spend every day with this smiley face?

Will I feel better after the move? I hope so. For now, that's what I'm going to hold on to.


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