Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A Year Since: Happy Birthday Carina!

One year ago today I huffed and I puffed and I pushed a 6 lb. 14 oz. baby out of my vagina.

After my amniotic fluid leaking for 3 days without my realizing it, a failed attempt to jump start labor naturally with a scary hospital milking machine, and finally a low dose of Pitocin (aka the devil), contractions began.

Most of the night was a blur. I remember bits and pieces...including thinking the birthing ball was a worthless piece of junk, lugging my monitoring devices into the tub with me, a heavenly 4 hour nap during which I progressed from 5 to 10 cm, and my husband holding up my gimpy no-feeling leg so I could push Carina out. I just re-read my whole birth story and it seems so surreal. I have to remind myself that it actually happened.

All of that was soon practically forgotten as my beautiful baby girl was hurled onto my chest {and into our lives}.

I cannot believe it has been a year...

...since I last felt her kick inside of me.

...since I held her in my arms for the first time.

...since I realized that I am much, much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.

...since our lives changed, forever.

Not even an hour after birth
One year later
I cannot imagine my life...

...without her smile.

...without her laugh.

...without her big, bright eyes.

...without her. The light of my life.

My favorite book, On the Night You Were Born ends with a few lines that make me ugly cry every time I read them...

Heaven blew every trumpet
and played every horn
on the wonderful, marvelous
night you were born.

Happy Birthday, Carina.


P.S. I have a few "one year" related posts to come...update and photos of Carina, on one year of breastfeeding, on Carina's favorite things, and more! Can't wait to share with you :)

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