Monday, March 12, 2012

This has been eating away at me

I confess. I'm having a really hard time getting excited for this baby. ::ducks::
We planned for this baby. We want this baby. We love this baby. But, I'm just not excited like I was with my first pregnancy, and I feel horribly guilty about it. I'm not even sure if I can pinpoint why.

Last time, I was so eager to research everything...what we would need, what each week of pregnancy would bring for me and Carina, baby namesnursery ideas, I could go on and on. Now, I am indifferent about all of the above. Thinking about what we need makes me anxious. Dwelling on what life will be like after the baby comes is scary...

I barely get any time to myself right now and I'll be honest; it's hard. And I know that it's only going to get worse when this baby comes. I'm afraid of losing myself...and losing my mind?

There are so many of you out there with multiple children, and it seems like you're still sane ;)  You're ROCKSTARS. Seriously. Care to rub up against your computer screens so I can osmose some of your awesomeness? I could really use a boost right now.


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