Tuesday, September 6, 2011

"We're going to find out what life in a nunnery is like!"

It was just over a year ago that M and I waited anxiously for my ultrasound to begin.  After assuring us that our baby was healthy and perfect, the technician moved the wand around deliberately, trying to give us a clear money shot.  BAM.  There...two tiny little legs and nothing in between.  We were having a girl.

Carina at 20 weeks
M's first words (no joke) were "Wow!  We're going to find out what life in a nunnery is like!"

::Death stare::

No, dear husband, we will not be sending our daughter to a nunnery.  He switched gears, "then I need to buy a shotgun."


His first serious thoughts were that he was going to love her more than anything he could imagine, and that he couldn't wait to experience the Father-Daughter bond of which so many people speak.

I was so happy to learn that we were expecting a little girl.  Almost instantly, visions of dress up clothes, tea parties, and shopping trips overwhelmed me.  I think I shed tears of joy at the thought of being able to call her Carina and refer to her as "she".  A lingering sense of dread crept in and out over the next few hours, though, as I mulled over my fears for her...

How can I protect my daughter from evils that I couldn't even protect myself from?  Every night I pray that her childhood isn't plagued by so much pain and sadness.  I feel so defeated when I think about this...and I think about it often.

How did you react when you found out the sex of your baby?  What (if any) fears did you have?

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