Monday, June 17, 2013

Weaning of another kind

Not long ago I wrote about my failed attempt to wean off of Zoloft. I don't think I'll try that again for a while, but unfortunately another type of weaning has become a possibility; Aurelia doesn't want to nurse much anymore. She seems to prefer to gulp it down from a sippy cup. While this is surprising, considering how Carina was a boob fiend until she was 15 or so months old, what was more unforeseen was how completely okay with it I am.

Carina kicked the habit when she was 18 Months old because my milk mostly dried up (I was 6 months pregnant). I cried. I sobbed. Even knowing I'd be breastfeeding another baby in just 3 months and change, I was still devastated. I was so afraid our relationship would change.

This time? Meh. If anything, I'm kind of looking forward to being done. Pumping everyday has become a chore. I'm going to continue doing it until she turns 1 (three more months to go) because it's important to me that she gets a year of breastmilk, but there's no sadness at the prospect of not nursing her for much longer.

I'd rather have a beer ;)
I feel bad, though. Guilty. Why is it so different this time?

Now that I think about it...Aurelia has never nursed for comfort. She doesn't reach for my chest after falling down or bumping her head like Carina did. It's always been just food for her. And? After weaning Carina, our relationship continued on just the same. I think the fear that something would change contributed to how emotional I was prior to the end of my first nursing journey. Lastly, Aurelia is a great eater. She can't seem to shove food in her mouth fast enough. It's safe to say I'm not worried about her following in Carina's Failure to Thrive footprints.

I guess after more than 3 years straight of being pregnant and/or breastfeeding, the prospect of having my body to myself again is just a wee bit exciting.

Has anyone else felt differently about nursing the second time around?

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