Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I wish I had known it was the last time

I posted on Saturday morning that Carina hadn't nursed upon waking up for the first time in 18 months. That night, I nursed her for about 30 seconds before she pulled off, looked up at me with her sweet toothy smile and proclaimed, "all done!"

All done she was. I haven't nursed her since.

The truth is? I'm sad for the moment (yep, tears are streaming down my face as I write this) but overall I'm happy to be done. I'll be leaving for the BlogHer conference at the beginning of August and will be away for 3 days. Weaning her on my own terms right before the conference was not something I wanted to have to do. Fortunately, she was ready to be done now, as evidenced by her not even asking for it once since we stopped. And I'm pretty sure there was no milk left anyway.

I'm so glad we were able to continue for another month after I started feeling touched out (by the way, thanks for telling me the term for that!) Cutting our feedings down to just morning and night really helped with that.

I just wish that I had known it was going to be the last time. Maybe I would have gotten more comfortable, snuggled her a little closer, and reminisced about how many hours upon hours we had spent, just like that, over the last 18 months. And how there wouldn't be any more.

As a friend reminded me yesterday, Aurelia will be happy to have my boobs all to herself ;)

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