The only election post I'm writing

This post is a little late. I've been meaning to write it for over a month now but whenever I get the chance to {finally} sit down at the computer I figure you'd rather see Aurelia's newborn photos, or hear about how I'm adjusting to having 2 under 2 than hear my disjointed political ramblings.

I'm not going to tell you for whom to vote.

I'm just going to tell you to vote.

I know you're busy. I know that it might take forever to get out of the house with multiple kids and that there might be one hundred other things you'd rather be doing.

But, our great-grandmothers and great-great-grandmothers fought long and hard for our right to pull that lever or tap at that screen, literally. It took 41 years from the initial drafting of the constitutional amendment until it was submitted to the states for ratification in 1920. 41 years. Taking an hour to vote doesn't seem so long now, does it? ;)

I know you might hate politics. I know that the ads are so negative, much of the campaigning is obnoxious, and you often feel like you're voting for the lesser of two evils.

But, your vote matters. It could determine whether we'll be fighting another war in the near future. Whether women {including victims of rape like myself} will be forced to carry pregnancies that occur as a result. Whether people will continue to go bankrupt in order to pay their medical bills.

I don't want to start any debates here, I just want you to go out and vote.


If you haven't familiarized yourself with the two {major party} Presidential candidates' platforms, now is a good time: Barack Obama | Mitt Romney. See if there's a Senate or House race in your area, too, and get to know the candidates.

Sorry to my non-US-based readers. Love you guys ;)

Teach your kids what breasts are for

My "Teach your kids" series continues with boobs.


I so often hear the following argument against nursing in public:

"Young children shouldn't be seeing breasts, how inappropriate!" 



Whether or not you breastfeed, please teach your children that humans are mammals, which by definition, have mammary glands to feed their young. The primary purpose of breasts, which contain those mammary glands, is for feeding babies.

Little kids won't learn that breasts are also sexual in nature and something "shameful" in the opinion of some people unless one (or both) of the following occurs:
1. We tell them that they are
2. We allow them to be influenced by outside sources (TV, movies, magazines, friends) where breasts are objectified without providing them with guidance

I want my daughters to grow up knowing that while they may see cleavage busting out of every teenager and celebrity they see, and that they will hear all sorts of talk of 2nd base and motorboating {but hopefully not until they're in college or even later}, their breasts are their own. They were not made primarily for the pleasure of men. I hope that they will take ownership of their bodies and not succumb to societal pressure to think of their breasts as nothing more than sexual playthings.

For the most part, the way our society and media operates right now involves sending children the message that it is okay {and even expected} for women to flaunt their breasts and cleavage anywhere and everywhere except for when they are using them as nature intended. I find this horribly sad and confusing for the impressionable. Breasts = great! Except when there is a baby attached. Then, it's gross all of a sudden. THIS MAKES NO SENSE.

Our daughters (and sons!) deserve better. Teach them that breasts are designed to feed babies. If they see a Mother breastfeeding her baby and they ask what is happening? That Mommy is feeding her baby. Some Mommies feed their babies with their breasts, some use bottles, and some use both. Simple as that.

I try not to get political, but...

I am very opinionated when it comes to politics. However, I try to avoid talking about it on my blog because I treat this blog as Carina's virtual baby book, and I just don't want to muddy it up with my political rantings. Also, I love you all - and I'm sure about half of you would no longer read my blog if I were to try to push my opinions and beliefs on you ;)

BUT - Earlier today M sent me a link to an article about a matter which could possibly affect anyone out there who is pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or might ever be pregnant. I realize that the source of the article may seem biased to some of you, but the information contained within about the bill itself is accurate.

Basically, a bill was passed by the house that {among other things} would allow doctors and/or hospitals to refuse emergency care for women even if their lives are endangered by their pregnancy. The hospital could also refuse to give a referral in this situation.

So, God forbid you have life threatening complications during your pregnancy, your hospital could tell you that they won't do anything about it. Meaning: you and your baby both could die, rather than terminate the pregnancy.

I would love to discuss this; what do you think about this bill?

Confessions of a former blog hopper

Back in the late spring and early summer I participated in a number of blog hops. {For those who don't know what a blog hop is, you can probably stop reading, or you can check out my first Toddle Along Tuesday blog hop post} I really enjoyed discovering new blogs to read and loved seeing the number of Followers in my Google Friend Connect widget tick upwards. It was a win-win situation. I participated in one or two a week and wondered why I hadn't jumped on the blog hopping wagon sooner.

Pretty soon I noticed that the number of comments I was getting from other hoppers was surpassing those I received from my loyal followers.

• "Cute blog, can't wait to read more!" - I would have preferred a comment on the actual content of my post, but okay, I guess.

• "Following you from the hop!" - Really, that's it? Hmm...

• "Please come follow me at http://www.mycrappyblog.com" - If that's all you have to say, then, No I don't think I will come follow you, sorry.

• "I'm your newest follower from the hop - following on your blog, Twitter, and Facebook. I love when I can get all three in one place! If you could follow me on all three - or at least my blog and Facebook, that would be great." - Srsly?

My jaw dropped. This comment made me feel cheap and dirty. I quickly deleted the comment, hopefully before any of my readers saw it. It's likely that this person - and the people who leave similar comments, click that "Follow" button, and then never return. I don't need or want those people here. I would rather have a handful of faithful readers that visit my blog on a regular basis than have hundreds and hundreds of people whose faces appear in that GFC widget, but are never actually seen here.

I started my own blog hop, Toddle Along Tuesday, in the hopes of avoiding that cheap and dirty feeling, and creating more of a community environment. Since the hop was only for baby and pregnancy blogs it was certain that we'd have a lot in common. I am so thankful for all the great friends I made through the hop!

Towards the end, though, blogs that were not baby or pregnancy related started linking up, and the number of bloggers joining for the first time who were actually following me and my co-host Kristin was decreasing each week. This made me upset, because it takes a lot of time and effort to run a blog hop and we were barely getting anything in return. I decided that I didn't want to waste my time anymore. And that's when it hit me...I had become exactly what I was trying to avoid. I started caring more about the numbers I was gaining, instead of the friendships I was forming and the new blogs I was enjoying.

So you might have noticed that Toddle Along Tuesday has been on hiatus for about a month. I have been trying to find a way to improve the hop so that I would feel good about it (and myself). I am happy to announce that it will be back next week! But it's going to be a little different this time:

1. There will be no following requirements.
2. Instead of linking up your whole blog I will be asking you to link up a single post. Each week we'll have a post theme, and you can link a brand new post or an old post - whichever you'd like. 
3. I won't be posting the linky on Monday nights, instead it will go up with my Tuesday morning posts.

I'm excited for its return! I think linking posts instead of entire blogs will weed out the irrelevant blogs and shops (yes - some people even linked up their store websites), and will be more fun for everyone.


I didn't write this post to judge or condemn anyone who participates in blog hops. I hope I'm not offending anyone, as that is not my intent at all. These are just my feelings in regards to them. What are your thoughts?

Shhh...don't tell my husband I am writing this

I am so afraid that this would crush his aspiring-to-be-helpful little heart. But I need to vent, dear readers, for I am extremely a bit compulsive and the perfectionist in me is ready to scream.

Laundry
Dirty clothes go in the hamper. Easy, right? Not so much in my house. For a long time I would find soiled socks in the bathroom, unlaundered underwear beneath the bed, and even grimy gym shorts behind the couch in the living room. After a brief discussion regarding the fact that sullied clothes cannot rest peacefully until they have found their home in the hamper, I have found that said grungy garments are almost completing their journey on a regular basis. I say almost because more often than not, they end up next to the hamper, rather than inside of it.

Dirty socks NEXT TO the hamper

Dishes
I used to find months-old dirty coffee cups hidden in desk drawers and spoons with things growing on them concealed in backpacks. Fortunately, begrimed dishes and flatware have been making their way to the sink as of late, and sometimes they even (wait for it) - end up in the dishwasher! I must make a confession, though...when my husband loads the dishwasher, and I open it up later to add more dishes, I usually end up completely rearranging it. I can't bear to see tiny dishes sandwiched between two large ones and forks co-mingling with spoons and knives. Am I alone in this?

MESS!

Bathroom
Many a morning my poor behind gets greeted by little droplets of pee on the toilet seat. This has been a constant struggle since we moved in together. In the past, I found that no matter how many times I reminded him that my rear does not appreciate an early AM golden bath, I was still faced with wiping the seat down on a regular basis. Maybe it was my threatening to return the favor, but he has actually gotten better at this as of late. While it is no longer on the seat anymore, unfortunately I am now finding it on the floor. Dear husband, my feet don't appreciate that, either.

Instead of valuing the fact that he is making such an effort to help out around the house, I too often dwell on how he falls short of what I expect. From here on out I vow to stop being such an anal retentive twit. You can leave the socks next to the hamper, husband; it only takes a few seconds for me to throw them in there. Since I'll just rearrange the dishes if you put them in the dishwasher, feel free to leave them in the sink.

The only thing I won't budge on is the pee.  Wipe it, wherever it may fall.  Please and thank you.

Originally posted at The Adventures of Goober Grape & Monkey Man

This makes me an awful and ungrateful person, doesn't it?

I think it's safe to say that everyone has differing opinions on what clothes are cute, adorable, or fashionable for babies.  What I love, you might think is simply ridiculous.  What you find to be beautiful might make me want to dry heave and run away screaming.

Is this a dress or a smock made out of a Hefty trash bag?

Now for my confession... ::breathes in deeply::

I would prefer that you don't give my baby clothes as a gift. 

That's awful, right?  Admitting this makes me feel like a horrible, scrooge-y person.  Since just a few days after we found out that Carina doesn't have a peen people have been sending us clothes left and right.  I think this is so nice and extremely generous, but it makes me sad at the same time.

Sad, because your picking out clothes for her means that I don't get to.  I want to choose the things that I think are cute for my daughter.  When you buy them, I feel obligated to keep them (no matter how awful they are) in case you come over to visit and ask to see her in the outfit that you so painstakingly picked out.  What would I say if I had returned said outfit or - God forbid - regifted it? (the horror!)

My friend ACTUALLY received this gift.  Camo-glam, anyone?

I know that this is such a stupid and petty thing to whine about - especially when I am an offender.  I have very recently given people clothes as gifts for their babies.  Maybe it's because I haven't been able to pick out anything for my own baby...uggh.  I apologize if I have done this to you; I need to stop.

If I have offended you with my ungratefulness or if your baby is currently sporting the Hefty smock, I'm sorry.  I hope you can forgive me.  Please tell me I'm not the only one that feels this way?  Or tell me how awful I am, your choice.


P.S. This does not apply to my Mom.  She has the uncanny ability to pick out adorable things I love every time.  Mom, you can buy Carina as many things as you want ;)

Moms - it would be better if we stopped at "Yes" or "No"

Moms, I think we do ourselves a disservice by always feeling the need to justify our decisions.  I have been thinking about this a lot since my post regarding my love of breastfeeding. 

If someone asks me if I am choosing to be a stay-at-home-Mom, my response could be as simple as "Yes" or "No".  Why elaborate? 

Even the most well intentioned, "I love being home with my kids" could make the questioner feel as though I am insinuating that she doesn't have a strong bond with her children.  Similarly, if a working Mom responds, "well, I am educated and think that working makes me a good role model for my kids" could come across as implying that only the uneducated would ever stay-at-home, and that they could not be good role models for their children.

This applies to so many of our parenting decisions and might really help ameliorate the "Mommy Wars" tension that seems to make so many of us feel guilty inadequate on a daily basis.


Breastfeeding? No. 
vs. 
Breastfeeding? No, eww.  Boobs are toys not tools.

Cloth diapers? Yes.
vs.
Cloth diapers? Yes, I would never fill a landfill with hundreds of tons of crap.

Do you let your baby cry it out? No.
vs. 
Do you let your baby cry it out? No, I want my baby to be securely attached to me.

Staying at home? Yes.
vs.
Staying at home? Yes, I don't want my baby to reach for the Nanny when she is upset.


Yes or No.  Easy as that.  No smugness, no chance of misinterpretation...just the truth, free of judgment or implications.

Let's try this, Moms!  Maybe we can help each other feel better about ourselves and our parenting decisions with simple Yes/No answers.  What do you think?