Monday, January 9, 2012

On One Year of Breastfeeding (and Beyond?)

I grew Carina on the inside for 9 months, and have continued to help her grow on the outside now for 1 year. I breastfed her exclusively for her first 6 months of life, but didn't start to decrease the amount I nursed her until just recently, as she never really took to table food until now.

Taking a snoozy break from nursing at 2 days old
I don't know when I'll wean her. For now, the only thing I am sure of is that I'm not ready yet, and she doesn't seem to be either. She has, however, been getting whole milk in a sippy cup with her meals for the last two weeks and is doing great! She seems to like it. But still, first thing after she wakes up in the morning, before each of her two naps, prior to bed, and usually 1-2 additional times, she nurses.

To be honest, the time she spends snuggled up against me nursing is my favorite part of the day. I will miss it so much after I wean her. My task right now is to somehow bring myself to a place where I'll be emotionally ready as soon as she is. Yikes. I can't believe I already have to think about this; time has gone by way too fast.

Can I confess that as excited as I am at the prospect of more independence (after I wean her, anyone can feed her at any time - this would have been true a long time ago had she ever been okay with bottles), I will be sad that she no longer needs me the way she does now. I won't have this claim to her anymore; at any time, anywhere, I can scoop her up and retreat to a quiet place for our snuggly nursing time. After I wean her, it won't be the same. Not going to cry... ::gets it together::

It's funny to look back on how I was feeling during every step of the way...
Now, at 1 year, my supply is slowing even further. Carina usually has to nurse for a couple minutes before I let down; it isn't ready and waiting all the time like it used to be. I'm not sure whether or not this is normal at this point, or if I should pump a little or return to my Mother's Milk tea. Any 1 year plus nursers out there? What is(was) your supply like at 1 year?


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