Our New Normal

::looks around::

August? Oh, honey.

I can't even finish a full cup of coffee before it gets cold, let alone a blog post. I started this one 6 weeks 3.5 months 7 months ago and have come back to it multiple times but just haven't been able to finish it until now. Such is our new normal. Let's just pretend it's still the end of October and I'm not the laziest procrastinator busiest Mom that ever there was. Shall we?

End of Octoberish
Yeah, oops on not updating sooner. We had a baby! Serafina is doing great and recovery has been a breeze {relatively speaking} this time around but birth story and details to follow; when I have time to write more coherently then mere stream of consciousness.

Three. I'm outnumbered.

I don't work on Mondays or Fridays and preschool for Carina and Aurelia is Tues-Wed-Thurs so it's just me and all three until Mike gets home from work in the evenings.

Today, everyone was sick but Mike, myself included. The baby woke up with a barking cough just before 5 AM and after an hour of nursing and bouncing and soothing she was still staring at me, wide awake. She finally fell asleep on my chest but not before blowing out her diaper. What's a Mom to do? You better believe I let her sleep on me poop and all. Although, I can't blame this on the 3rd child mentality. I've been known to do this before.

This Mom of 3 thing is hard.

Excuse me, gotta go. The baby just woke up crying after a 20 minute nap. Send wine.


Now
At the beginning of the year I started a new job which requires me to go on-site one day a week. I work from home on Mondays and Wednesdays, and on Fridays you'll find me baby in one arm while applying mascara with the other. I've mastered pumping while shoveling Raisin Bran down the hatch and brushing one of the big girls' hair into a pretty ponytail all at the same time.

My heart is full -- I'm the happiest I've been in as long as I can remember -- but I'm also the most stressed out. There's this constant nagging that something needs to be done, or cleaned, or paid, or fed, and the responsibility of everything I do and need to do just weighs on me.

I usually can't see the floor of the laundry room and I'm lucky if I remember to get more milk before we run out. We still have unpacked boxes from the move last year and the toy mess is slowly encroaching upon every single room in the house (even the closet in our bedroom...how does that happen?) I'm sure there's something more I should be doing with Carina to prepare her for Kindergarten in the Fall and with Aurelia to help with her tantrums and sensitivity. And the baby? I don't even remember what I was doing with the big girls at her age...helping them to crawl? Working on words?

Despite all this, I have more smiles, belly laughs, and endless snuggles than I ever thought possible. The girls are so sweet and we have so much fun going for bike rides, playing with dolls, or lining up all of their "guys" and pretending to have epic battles. Carina and Aurelia are best friends and expert big sisters. There's nothing more rewarding than watching these beings that you created interact with each other.

By the time the girls are in bed all I can muster is the energy to stay awake. Sometimes I'm asleep by 10:30, which is early for me. Other nights my mind wanders through all the things that still need to be done and the clock becomes my enemy as it nears midnight. Then it's time to wake up and rinse, repeat.

At least, with this post, I can cross one thing off of the "desperately need to-do" list ;)

Blink

I blinked and it's 5 months since my last post.

A lot has changed.



We moved from Connecticut to Charleston, South Carolina.

We're homeowners.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant today.

I have a new job offer.

Aurelia is potty trained.

Mike is getting his new office set up and teaches his first class in about 3 weeks.

Wait, 35 weeks pregnant? With all the packing and planning for the move, the move itself (16 hours in the car with sick kids and fighting cats is awesome, let me tell you) and unpacking {and still working part-time all the while} it's almost entirely escaped me that I'm enormous and the baby is going to be here so soon.

It didn't hit me until yesterday. When getting dressed I realized that almost all of my maternity tops are too short. Either I grabbed a bunch of mislabeled shirts or I'm simply -- as Aurelia would say -- "huge-mongous". I should probably figure out where I need to go to deliver this baby and take some baby clothes and diapers out of storage or something.

Ohhh becoming a 3rd time Mom is so, so different. I'd love to say it's due to the fact that I'm so much more chill this time around, but the truth is that I only have the brain capacity to keep track of so many things at once and the baby just isn't on my radar yet. I'm sure that will change the minute she arrives, though. I hope?

She. Yes, baby #3 is a girl. We couldn't be more excited. The girls were pulling for either Starla or Somersault, but we've settled on Serafina Anne, which means "fiery one" or "fiery angel". If she's anything like her sisters, her name will fit her perfectly.

"I'm pregnant like Mommy!"

Back in December, it had been a year since Mike and I had started trying for baby G #3. My doctor sent orders to the lab for me to go in for a round of fertility blood work whenever I was ready.

But I wasn't ready yet. It had only been a month or so since I had completely weaned Aurelia and to be truthful, we weren't in any rush. With the possibility of Mike starting a new job in the Fall, we thought it might be smart to try to avoid for a few months so as not to have a baby popping out while Mike was supposed to be teaching his very first college class.

A couple weeks later Mike got his job offer and of course we had to celebrate and of course I wasn't charting or paying any attention to my cycle. And then of course when a few weeks later I realized I hadn't gotten my period in a while and decided to take a test there were two lines. I think I stared at the test in shock for a good five minutes before even showing Mike. Neither of us believed it until we saw the same two lines there a few days later.  

Okay so just three short weeks after Professor Mike embarks upon his career as a professor of Chemistry and Biochemistry, baby G #3 will be making his or her appearance. We're all really excited. And pretending to be pregnant is now Carina and Aurelia's favorite game.

I'm pregnant like Mommy!

The next few months are going to be crazy. We'll be flying down to Charleston soon to look at homes and provided all goes as planned we should be moving in early July. Then comes Mike's job and baby #3.

So far, this pregnancy has been really different from my two previous pregnancies. With Carina and Aurelia, I only ever had some light nausea. Now I feel nauseated almost all the time and have become well acquainted with the toilet :(  And since the girls no longer nap, there is no chance for me to rest during the day.

More to come soon...that is, if I can stay awake at night long enough to write another blog post ;)

Merry Christmas to all and to Mike a new job

Less than a week and a half into the month of December, Mike had already been on two out-of-state job interviews. Each was for a few days, leaving me with the girls and little space in my brain for much other than what to make for each meal and how to juggle bedtime to get them both asleep while maintaining my sanity. I think it was almost December 20th before I realized I forgot to order Christmas cards or get any presents other than those for the girls. Oops.

But now, we're at my parents' house relaxing for the first time in a long time -- as I'm happy to report that after submitting more than 50 applications and preparing multiple presentations Mike has accepted a {permanent} job as an assistant professor of chemistry in Charleston, South Carolina. Yes, you read that right, we're moving South in the summertime! This has been 13 years in the making for Mike, since he decided that being a professor was his goal when he began college at age 18.

That goal brought him to Wisconsin for 5 years of grad school, and then to Connecticut for 3 years of postdoctoral experience. We cannot be more excited about this {final} move. After 30+ years in COLD (New England or Wisconsin) I welcome nicer weather with open arms. In a few weeks we'll be speaking with a realtor and hopefully determining a timeline for buying our first home down there. I've never been to Charleston and know almost nothing of the area, so now begins quite the new adventure...

Realizing I can't do it all

I'm tired. Really tired. Watching the kids all day long followed by working until 11 PM every night tired. This has been the story of the last month. Even the weekends have mostly been watching the girls while Mike works, and then working myself when he comes home.

Why am I torturing myself? I thought I could do it. But then the ~10 hour/week job turned into more like 20 hours/week…and then I realized the house was a dump. I could feel my anxiety coming back but had no time to do any of the things that help keep it at bay (read, do puzzles, just relax).

I don't have to can't be Supermom. It's not good for my mental, emotional, or physical (SO TIRED!) well-being.

So, I:

1. Hired a new part-time babysitter (a neighbor who is really flexible and the girls love her, woohoo!) She starts this week.

2. Started getting our groceries delivered. Whatever. You can judge.

3. Will be searching for a house cleaner this weekend.

The best part: now I can feel like the time I spend with the girls will be well-spent. I won't be ducking away for 5 minutes here and there to read and respond to work e-mails.

A close second: I cannot wait to have my nights back to myself. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK HERE I COME.

WebRep

currentVote

noRating

noWeight

Filed under: Mommy fail, & finally returning to the land of the living

My part-time working-from-home contract is over, which means I'm back to being a stay-at-home-Mom for a while. I've told my consulting company that at this point in time, I'm only going to consider a a local or remote position that is less than 20 hours a week.

Why? Well, when it comes to childcare we've really struck out. With 3 weeks left to go in my contract, our Nanny sent me a text 5 minutes before she was supposed to arrive on a Monday morning stating that she wouldn't be coming back. She's pregnant, and said it was just too much for her. I get that -- I've worked while pregnant and it's hard -- but MORE THAN 5 MINUTES NOTICE would have been nice. You know?

Mike's work offers a limited number of subsidized backup-care hours per school year so we used a little of that, and for the rest? I took care of the girls all day and squeezed in as much work as I could and then worked all night, too. For 3 weeks. A few days in I was exhausted and by the end I felt like a zombie.

It's nice to be back to just one job now - being with my girls. I've blogged so little in the last 6 months I've missed chronicling a number of firsts, milestones, and fun stories. I might go back and try to recall some in the coming weeks but for now I'm just going to jump in and go from here.

Quick catch-up/what's new:

Carina starts preschool in the Fall two half-days a week. I'm so excited for her to socialize and learn, and I'm also glad that Aurelia and I will have a little bit of just-us time. We ditched the crib when we moved (back in December) and she's been in a full-size big girl bed ever since. I just measured her at the doctor's office yesterday and she is over 30 lbs. and 37.5 in. We've come a long way since the Failure to Thrive diagnosis. I can't tell you how glad I am that all of that is over.

Aurelia is walking everywhere now! Her first steps were at 17 Months and just about 2 weeks ago marked more time on her feet than walking on her knees. She hit 18 Months on Sunday and is talking up a storm; I would guess she says about 50 different words at this point. She's still nursing 3 times a day: morning, before nap, and before bed. Oh and lately? Add twice a night to that. Since we moved she's been up at least TWO TIMES EVERY NIGHT AND MOMMA IS EXHAUSTED. We've chosen this coming up weekend to sort of let her CIO and see what happens. Please wish us luck.

And now onto my Mommy Fail. On my 2nd day not working I thought it would be fun to take the girls out to Toys R Us to buy them a little treat for being so good while I was trying to jam as much work as possible into daylight hours.

I put them in the cart and we headed down the Princess aisle. Of course they wanted to hold the entire contents of the aisle and whined when I put Rapunzel and her pony back on the shelf and cried when I set Baby Princess Anna down (even though they already have her at home!) and completely lost their shit when I insisted that we couldn't take home the jumbo-pack of 6" Disney Toddler Dolls for the low price of $80. "But Moooom, they have Tiana!"

I began to feel like the cruelest {and dumbest} person alive. Take them to a toy store and show them all these cute and fun things that they can't have…brilliant. So I made haste for the Disney Junior section to pick up the Sofia the First sisters doll set I had picked out ahead of time for the girls to share. They looked at it for 10 seconds, definitely excited, but then they spied the Doc McStuffins and Jake and the Neverland Pirates displays and promptly made it clear to me that they needed ALL THE THINGS.

We left that part of the store as quickly as possible and trudged over to a corner that had a train table set up. Perfect. I got them out of the cart and set them down to play for a few minutes. I had barely put Aurelia down when Carina announced to me {and to all the other kids playing} that she needed to go poopoo. NOW.

Aurelia protested getting back in the cart so I carried her while pushing the cart with the other hand and praying that Carina didn't poo her pants on the way to the bathroom, which just had to be all the way at the other end of the store. Once inside the stall I discovered that unfortunately I'd left our portable potty seat at home. So I held Carina in a hover position on the toilet (otherwise she would have fallen in) and pleaded with Aurelia to not crawl on the dirty bathroom floor.

She looked at me, said "go!" and began to crawl under the stall door. Thankfully Carina finished soon thereafter so I set her down and told her to wait, swung upon the door, and chased down Aurelia who had just about made it to the sinks and was still on all fours {ew}. Carina came bounding out of the stall with her pants and Princess underpants down around her ankles shouting, "silly baby!"

I scooped up Aurelia and pulled up Carina's clothes as quickly as possible and made for the cash registers. We were just about to check out when my phone rang. It was work. Of course it was a phone call I had been waiting for regarding whether or not my current customer was going to extend anyone so I spent a few minutes on the phone getting bad news while trying to keep Carina from diving into the dollar bin and prevent Aurelia from emptying the entire contents all over the floor.

Hang up phone. Purchase Sofia doll. Get in car. Put on Frozen soundtrack for the millionth time. Sigh. Drive home. Thank God I had put something in the crockpot earlier that morning.

Welcome back to being a stay-at-home Mom, Mama G ;)

Hold the phone

It can't be more than a month since I last posted, can it?

le sigh.

I've got to stop promising posts that don't happen because life always gets crazier than I think it will. And truth be told, a new {slightly embarrassing} hobby has replaced blogging as of late. You ready for this? Here and here. Nothing makes me feel more relaxed than sitting with a glass of wine putting together these bad boys. Anywho, I digress.

Just a couple days after my last post I was offered a new contract that required a 3 day trip to Texas followed by 7.5 weeks of working PART-TIME FROM HOME. Can you hear the Hallelujah chorus? I didn't even have to interview for it -- it was just mine. I can't get over how lucky I've been in all this.

So after 3 days in Austin pumping 'round the clock because hello boobs where did you come from? and learning an entirely new build/change control philosophy -- er, sorry, job stuff -- I was feeling a little overwhelmed. Maybe, just maybe I enjoyed the little bit of autonomy the trip afforded me but in all, with a new job, new Nanny, sad sad separation anxiety on Aurelia's part, and still trying to unpack from the move, I *might* be wishing I still had some anxiety meds stashed away in our medicine cabinet.

Oh well, I've managed. I've been at it for almost 3 weeks now and it's going well. I truly love the work I do and the fact that I can do it while sitting in yoga pants and stuffing my face with Girl Scout cookies (SAMOAS! YES!) while a kitty sits in my lap and purrs? It's awesome.

The new Nanny loves arts and crafts and Carina is having a ball making letters and princess crowns and painting with watercolors. And did I mention the Nanny brought Campbell's Soup in Disney Princess shapes for lunch for the girls on day #2 of working for us? Carina was so excited to see {I think what was supposed to be} Cinderella in her soup.

The downside has been Aurelia's sadness every time I go upstairs. Since her monitor is in our room (where my office is) and we leave it on all the time (or else we hear a neighbor's baby SO WEIRD) I periodically hear her crying, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" over and over again and I die a little inside. She's been wanting to nurse more than our recent 3 times a day and demands to sit on my lap and snuggle at all times.

Only 5 weeks to go. After that? Who knows.


Anyone work at home? How does it work logistically?

Catch up

I'm just going to dive back in and avoid mentioning the fact that I haven't blogged in almost 2 months (wait...oops).

Since my last post we've moved, gone to Disney World, and celebrated Christmas & Carina's 3rd birthday ::sob:: with our families. Also, I weaned myself off of the anxiety meds, finished out my work contract, and fell asleep not too long after 10 PM on New Year's Eve with a wine glass in hand. Accomplishments?

More detailed posts on all that and more to come {I promise. Okay, I hope} but for now I just wanted to hop on my poor neglected blog and share my New Year's Resolution:

Blog more, but not let it take over my life.

I think the me from one year ago would be aghast to see how I've let things around here deteriorate, but to be truthful, the me from today is pretty embarrassed looking back at how much this little URL dictated my daily schedule and how badly it contributed to my anxiety. It became an obligation rather than an enjoyment and I won't let that happen again.


Previews of what's to come within the next week or so! I am SO EXCITED to share these posts.

I LOVE OUR NEW HOUSE! (taking a bath with the cousins)

DISNEY! Gaston was sorely lacking adequate chest hair for his character, in my opinion

CHRISTMAS! Santa needs to learn how to check dimensions ;)

And a few other important things that unfortunately lacked the adorable visuals...like stopping working, weaning off meds, and probably some sort of sentimental holy-crap-I'm-turning-30 post. That's right. I've only got 1.5 days left in my 20's so I'm off to enjoy them.

Happy New Year, friends!

Daunting

Has it really been a month since I last posted? Since just a few days after my most recent entry I've been meaning to return here and tell you about any one of the handful of major things going on in our lives. But when I sit down at the computer and stare at a blank screen I don't know how or where to start.

So I'm just going to blurt it all out in one super long run-on sentence or else I'm afraid I'll never start posting again.

At Aurelia's 1 year appointment her doctor asked us to come back for a weight check due to slow growth ::insert mama bear growl here:: and then we signed a lease for a condo and we're moving right after Thanksgiving and just three weeks after that we're going to Disney World and Mike's boss has finally made up his mind and will not be moving the lab to another state and Carina still won't go to sleep before 9 PM most nights.

We're tired. Like, never-been-so-tired-in-our-lives tired. While the move may not seem like the smartest thing to do right now, we'd go even more crazy if we stayed here. We've completely run out of space and Aurelia is still sharing our room. And having only 1 toilet with a potty trained toddler is my personal version of Hell. "NOOO Mommy, it's MY turn to go peepee on the potty and I'm going to bring a book and I'm going to sit there for an HOUR." The new place has COUNT THEM....3 potties. Heaven.

Please don't let me go a month without stopping by here again. Something that used to be so familiar now feels so foreign. I don't think I even remember where to go to check comments. Oops.

Eff you doctor. I may be small but I'm clearly AWESOME.

No complaints here

Yeah so about that on the bright side I'll be able to post more thing I said in my last post.

Obviously that hasn't happened. The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind of craziness but as I sit here comfortably on the couch with a kitty snuggled in my lap and two napping little princesses in the other room, I feel content, truly content for the first time in a long time. I'm taking stock of everything and I don't think I have any complaints.

I'm basking in the warm October sun coming through the window, listening to only the sounds of the ticking clock on the wall, the ocean waves white noise that I can hear through the wall to Carina's room, and the gentle purring of my cat. When Mike gets home from lab we'll be heading off to go apple picking and my heart is aglow with all I have to look forward to and all I'm surrounded by.

As quickly as my job said, "just kidding, you're done" they called again three days later and asked me back. So I started this past Monday, working a full day on Monday and Tuesday, and a half day on Wednesday. This will be my schedule through the end of the year. Our Nanny was able to stay on with us part-time so luckily and thankfully, everything has fallen into place.

This week we also went for a few apartment showings. We've decided not to renew our lease on January 1st since we're running out of space in our 2 bedroom 1 bath (which has been awesome for potty training let me tell you). We'll be signing a lease early this week to move into a 3 bedroom (+ playroom!) 2.5 bath condo on December 1st. SPACE, glorious SPACE! Can you tell how excited I am? The only difficulty might be trying to figure out how to set it up. More on that later...

Now I need to go find my camera, as it's been almost 2 months since I've taken any (non-iPhone) pictures of the girls. And I should probably change out of PJs. It's almost Noon ;)

News and a serenade

It's official. There's no money in the budget to keep me on, so my last day of work will be September 27th.

I have mixed feelings about it. I'm really excited to spend more time with the girls again, especially now that Aurelia is mobile and beginning to speak. But I've loved being able to get back into the computer system and use my brain, and I know I'll miss it.

My boss at the consulting company will be looking for other opportunities for me but I'll wait for something local or that will allow me to work remotely. And part-time; I don't think I want to do full-time again. We'll see.

I'm looking forward to more of this...

Oh and P.S. -- she's basically potty trained. I changed her last diaper on Sunday morning and we haven't looked back. She's been in underpants round the clock since. Of course they're Disney Princess ones ;)

Conflicted

I start work on Monday.

I'm excited, but nervous. Happy, yet sad. Both relieved and anxious at the same time. Hence the post title.

As soon as I was offered the job and the prospect of being away from home materialized, I realized just how badly I need a break. From tantrums, diapers, the incessant "Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy!" and the burden of being completely responsible for the needs of two living and breathing people {aside from myself} all day every day. ::sigh:: I hate admitting this...it makes me feel like a terrible Mom.

But as Carina asks to snuggle me on the couch and throws her arms around my neck coming in for a big hug, my sadness is palpable. As if on cue, Aurelia then flails her arms and squeals and I wonder how I'm going to bear to be away from them.

Snuggle Mommy!

This girl. I just can't even...

What I'm concerned about:

• When I worked Full-Time for three months during the summer of 2011, Carina barely took a bottle. I suspect that her Failure to Thrive issues stem from these months of not eating enough. Aurelia is not a fan of bottles, either, and I'm worried that history will repeat itself.

• Carina is really attached to me. To the point where when I leave to go downstairs to the basement for 2 minutes to throw in the laundry, she calls for me over and over. I think it'll be good for her to be away from me but the thought of my sad little toddler crying for me breaks my heart. I hope she likes the Nanny.


• Can my brain go from stay-at-home Mom mode to focused on work quickly? It's been quite a while since I worked with the software that I'll be modifying/updating, and I'm worried it won't come back to me easily.


• I've been feeling a lot better lately, but I have to admit I'm a little apprehensive about this all intensifying my anxiety.

Why this job is so important to us:

• I need a break. I'm with my girls all day every day and generally speaking, I love it. But, I need some time by myself. This job is currently only for 3 Months, so it might be the perfect "break" for me. There will be the option for continuing after it ends, and I'm crossing my fingers that {if I'm up for it} they will be open to part-time.


• My brain is begging to be challenged. Other than for how best to handle a poopsplosion or tantrum, I haven't had to use my critical thinking skills in quite some time. I'm eager to learn and think and produce again.


• The money I'll be making means we'll go from qualifying for government assistance (which, by the way, we never accepted) to more than doubling our annual income - for only 3 Months of work. We'll get to buy another car, go out on dates more often, save a {hopefully} hefty future down payment for a house, and maybe even go on a vacation. Simply put, we don't have to worry about money anymore. The most exciting aspect of this for us is that it means we can definitely afford a baby #3 sometime in the near future... ;)

I'm hoping this will all work out with minimal anxiety, stress, and sadness for our little family. We'll see. Here goes.

Two down, just one to go

1. I did some shopping.

Okay, that's not quite the truth. I did a lot of shopping. Since my last job didn't have a dress code, and pajamas sufficed much of the time while I was a stay-at-home Mom, my closet is sorely lacking in the professional and presentable clothes department. I'm really excited to get dressed up in my new outfits ;)

2. After posting our Nanny position on Care.com we received a flurry of responses {including one that simply stated "I want Melissa" uhhh....what? Needless to say, I didn't reply to that one} and had four interviews today. It was more exhausting than I thought it would be and towards the end I worried I was repeating myself or accidentally omitting important information. Narrowing it down was difficult, but we think we have found the perfect person to care for the girls.

Both Mike and I feel really confident with our Nanny choice. She'll be spending some time with us on Saturday to get acclimated and to watch the girls while we go test drive cars, which is our one remaining task!

I think it's safe to say that I'm a veritable emotional roller coaster right now. One minute I'm so excited about working, and then the next I look over at the girls and can't help but worry. Will Carina be upset with me? Will Aurelia take a bottle okay? Will working exacerbate my anxiety? I'm hoping and praying that everything will be fine...

And not even 30 hours later...

I have a job.

I start April 22nd ::cue freakout::

We have to hire a Nanny. We should probably buy another car (YAY IT'S MINIVAN TIME!) I desperately need to go shopping for an entire wardrobe because I haven't had to wear professional looking clothes since 2007. Not that those would fit anyway, after the number that two pregnancies did on my ass and thighs...

Anyway. This has been a crazy whirlwind. I received a call yesterday at noon from a consulting company that I have spoken with in the past. They wanted to submit my resume for an opening at a local hospital. I told them to go for it. I had a phone interview this evening and was officially offered the job. I'm going to be helping this hospital (specifically, the pharmacy inside the hospital) fix issues that arose during their electronic medical record installation. In my previous life, I tested the software that they use at the company that develops it.

It's full-time, but they are open to me working closer to 30 hours some weeks and/or from home here and there. And the best part? The contract is only for 3 Months. So if I don't like it or have a tough time being away from the girls, I'll be back home with them mid-July. If I like it and want to stay on? There is the possibility of extension. Did I mention I'll make more than 4 times what I did at my old job? Yeah. I just couldn't say no.

I'm super excited, but also nervous and a little overwhelmed. I don't know how Carina is going to do without me, and I'm worried that Aurelia hasn't ever taken a bottle. SO MUCH TO DO.

I might have to neglect the blog a little since there is a lot we have to take care of right now, so please bear with me as I prepare for and settle into my new {temporary} role as working Mom.

But right now, I'm going to eat a giant bowl of ice cream. I figure I deserve it ;)

Intervention no longer needed: a change of plans

When Mike began his Post-Doctoral fellowship at Yale in December of 2011, the plan was to stay here in Connecticut until December of this year or Summer of 2014. After a long chat with his boss, they've decided he will stay on longer than originally anticipated, likely until the Summer of 2015.

What does this mean for us? Well, I mentioned recently that we had planned on waiting until Mike is finished here to grow our family. But Summer 2015 is over 2 years away, and I've already put going back to school on hold for 6 years...so the longer we wait to complete our family, the further away I am from being able to pursue my career. I'm feeling so much better (re: my anxiety) and? Well, I've got the fever. So we're going to let what happens happen.

Since Mike will be getting another raise at the end of the year, and we got a much-larger-than-anticipated tax refund (and adjusted his withholding accordingly), we're in an okay place financially. The only thing that could be problematic is space; we're still in a 2 bedroom apartment. We considered the possibility of moving to a larger place, but it just doesn't make sense right now. Worst case (like, if I got pregnant today...which isn't happening) we would have three little ones in one bedroom for a year. Not the end of the world, right? I'm sure we could figure it out somehow. If I'm going crazy 2 years from now because we have 3 kids in 1 room and it's hell - I give you my permission to remind me of this post.

Friends, the only cure to this fever is MOAR BABIES.

And yes, we might be crazy.

Should have done this a year ago

This weekend was a frenzy of {finally} unpacking boxes from our move ahem 15 months ago ahem that were still scattered around our apartment. I'd like to tell you that there was just a box here and there, but then I would dirty liar. Our foyer was embarrassingly full of at least 10 boxes to the point where we couldn't open the closet. There were so many boxes in our kitchen closet that we couldn't step inside of it. Two boxes sat in our hallway, and a couple more underneath the table our microwave and crockpot sit upon in the kitchen.

Now? They're all gone...unpacked, things organized, settled. Finally. I wish we had done this a year ago.

Stop unpacking and play with me!

My Mom visited for the weekend and watched the girls while Mike and I worked tirelessly. In addition to unpacking, we finally assembled Aurelia's crib that we purchased on Black Friday and completely reorganized the closet in the girls' room. Pics to come soon!

While going through one of the many boxes stashed away in our foyer, deep underneath a pile of magazines and other random crap I FOUND MIKE'S iPHONE THAT HE LOST BACK IN SEPTEMBER. Finally. We think a feisty toddler might be to blame. When he lost it, he started using the Windows Phone I had gotten in April {and didn't really care for} and I had gone back to my ancient iPhone 3GS. My almost decrepit iPhone recently started freezing and shutting off randomly so I am quite happy that I get to upgrade to Mike's formerly misplaced iPhone 4.

Yay "new" phone!

See a theme here? Finally.

I feel great. It's amazing what decluttering/unpacking can do for your mental well-being.

One Year Since the Wild Ride

Hey mommas of the blogosphere, Mike here. It's been one year since we left Madison, WI to start the next chapter of our lives together.  In the last year we've grown our family with Aurelia, our sweet pea, I started and have really enjoyed a new research position at Yale, and we've had so much wonderful time with family.  What we have never really shared, however, is just how we, and I mean all of us, got out here.  Melissa and Carina hopped a plane, flew to Philly, and enjoyed a few days with my family.  Me? Well, on the eve of the one year anniversary of my odyssey to pick up my ladies in Philly, here is the full story of my eastward trek with Rufus, Layla, and our over-loaded station wagon - five states, 900 miles, and one hundred and forty ounces of coffee in a single, 17-hour wild ride across I-80.

Episode I: A Journey Begins
My alarm went off at 3:00 am on Wednesday, November 30th, 2011. Prior to leaving I had to, God help me, get the kitties into their carrier.  A friend had told me about this kitty valium they had and gave me a few tablets.  You give it to your cats, and supposedly they konk out in an hour and then you drive wherever you want.  Rufus and Layla ate their little 'treats' and...

...got reeeaaaallly pissed off.  So at 4:00 am, I picked up one cat in each arm and tried to stuff them into the carrier together.  Layla went #1 on her brother, and a stink-laden furball churned through our empty apartment.  Take two - one cat in, two cats in, close and latch the door, done - whew!  We all made it into the car and left Madison at 4:30am, getting to the outskirts of Chicago by sunrise and after only one 20 oz cup of coffee.

Episode II: The Stench
The smell in the car was overpowering.  I don't know who did what on who, but it was vile.  I pulled us all over at the nearest rest stop, prior to heading through the Windy City.  I picked up coffees number two and three (ounces 21-60), a bunch of paper towels, and a big bottle of water for my feline companions.  With a paper towel in each hand, I cleaned up the kitties, and put them onto the blankets in the back of the car that covered our stuff.  I didn't even bother with the cat carrier this time. Unfortunately for me, the rest of the ride was perfumed with eau de litter.

Rufus slinking about and Layla looking out the trunk window

Episode III: The Fight
We hit a traffic jam.  Chicago rush hour is horrific, this coming from a Philly guy.  However, the baddest 'tudes on the road were not held by Joe Schmo Bears Fan, but instead by Layla and her brother, who were still obviously high on kitty valium.  I'm not sure who hissed first or threw the first paw, but I heard, suddenly, a Hollywood-quality cat snarl.  Looking in my rear view mirror, a raging vortex of gray and black fur was rolling from the trunk to the passenger seat and back again.  The volume go so loud, I turned around and screamed SHUT UP!  Their response: HISS!!! Simultaneously at me.  Great, I'm going to die by furballcarwreckinferno.  I managed to honk the horn when I turned to yell at my tripping cats, which also earned me some "you are such a nice person" response honks.

Episode IV: @#$%@@#!!!  
We made it through the traffic jam with Layla on the floor under my feet and Rufus in the back meowing non-stop.  I had to pull over.  Cue up the next forty or so ounces of coffee and an early lunch.  We then embarked out through flat, straight, 75-mile-an-hour Indiana.  A breeze, or so I thought.  You definitely get highway hypnosis in this state.  At that precise moment, Rufus thought it would be a good idea to sneak up for an apologetic scritch'n'snuggle.  From the back seat, he leaped up onto the parking break, and then up onto the dashboard and stretched out.  Ahem,  

"OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET DOWN AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" (edited for copious profanity)

I scooped him up and threw him backwards over my head into the backseat and redirected the car from the shoulder into which we had swerved rapidly at almost 80 mph.  He was fine, I was not.  My heart-rate went through the roof, my palms were sweaty, and I stopped just outside of Toledo, Ohio, ate a bit, and refueled on coffee (the ounce count is up to 120).

Content and/or other value provided by my partner, Kia Motors

Epilogue: Our next big step
I made it to Philly without too much more trouble at about 11:30 pm.  I got a little sick from rest stop food and stopped in Western, PA, and had some snow to deal with for the last four hours of the ride. That last bit was neat though; I was bringing winter with me.  I arrived to my loving family in Philly, we shared some champagne, and I forgave the cats in about 48 hours.  The last leg brought us to our current home in New Haven and so began the current chapter of our lives back east.  It was an unforgettable trip across about a third of our country, giving me memories that I'll never lose, and a wonderful marker of the biggest transition yet for our growing family.

Results

After almost two weeks and multiple nagging calls to the Pediatrician's office, we finally got Carina's blood work results. The doctor had ordered a battery of tests at her 15 month appointment due to her not gaining weight and generally not wanting to eat.

Everything was normal except her CO2 level was low. Coupled with her lack of growth, the doctor suspects something called Renal Tubular Acidosis. It is a condition in which the kidneys fail to properly acidify urine, resulting in an accumulation of acid in the body. It's rare, but very easily treatable, thank goodness.

What's next? More blood work, a urine sample (which apparently involves taping a bag to her lady parts?), and a kidney ultrasound. The thought of putting her through more tests is making me cry, even though I know it's what's best for her, and necessary. If left untreated, it can lead to growth retardation, rickets, bone disease, kidney stones, and/or eventually renal failure.

What? More tests? :(

At this point I'm not sure for what I am hoping. I obviously don't want anything to be wrong with her, but if this is what she has, it explains the feeding problems and stunted growth we have been experiencing for months now. And according to some of the literature I am reading (I know, I know...I shouldn't have Googled), it is very easily treated with Sodium Bicarbonate and half of the cases even go away on their own before children reach Kindergarten. If the tests come back negative, though, then we're back to square one.

::sigh::

Any prayers or positive thoughts would be much appreciated. I just can't stop crying at the thought of my poor little peanut being sick.

Three years

Since we made it official. I can't believe where three years has taken us. From Wisconsin to Connecticut, from just you and me to {almost} a family of four.

I realized I've never shared our wedding photos here, and thought today would be the perfect occasion.


April 18th, 2009 | Villanova, Pennsylvania

Because cake is the best part

I went back and read the posts I wrote for our 1st and 2nd anniversaries, and I am tears. Some from emotion, some from laughing so hard. Let's not forget that Carina was conceived on our 1st anniversary ;)

Cheers, babe.