I just reminded myself why I never take all 3 kids grocery shopping

So fast forward ohh maybe 9 months and Carina turned 6 sort of recently a while back. We finally got around to having her birthday party and with how busy we've been it became necessary to take all 3 kids to the grocery store earlier this week to order Carina's cake.

Our trip resulted in my laughing so hard I was crying (or was it the other way around? Definitely the other way around) and needing a drink before 5 PM on a Wednesday afternoon. 

We arrived at the grocery store and to my dismay not a single obnoxious race car double-cart was to be found. I put Serafina in a normal cart and the girls each grabbed one of the tiny carts. One had a "customer in training" flag and the other didn't and this was a HUGE PROBLEM. Argument over who had the right to lay claim to the fancy flag cart and who had to suffer the pains of the cart sans flag ensued. 

Since we were there to pick out Carina's cake for her birthday party I let her steer the cart with the flag and we headed over to the bakery counter. We flipped through the book of designs a few times and nothing piqued her interest. I asked her to please look again, and she finally settled on the Disney Fairies cake. I asked the employee how many people it serves and she didn't know and none of the other employees knew so she had to call the cake decorator to ask. After a few minutes she returned and Carina announced she didn't want that cake anymore.

I looked at her incredulously (like, why did we just wait 10 minutes and make her call the cake decorator, then?) Now she wanted the Minions cake. And the employee didn't know how many people it serves. She went to find out and I started filling out the order form in the meantime. Oh lookie there, it says right on the order form what size to get for our number of guests.

Cake ordered. Aurelia spotted one of the obnoxious race car double-carts that had since been abandoned about 20 feet away and clearly "we MUST go get it Mommy because I want to wiiiide!" In went Aurelia and Serafina. We returned the other cart and the tiny cart sans flag. We passed one of the sample "bubbles" with danish and I handed one to each of the ladies but Aurelia didn't want it. 

Off we went in the monstrous race car cart that takes way too much energy to push and of course the avocados we needed were as hard as cannonballs. We stopped for another "bubble" this time with strawberries and Serafina dropped hers and yelled "oh no!" so loudly people stopped to make sure she was okay. About 30 seconds later they returned to make sure she was okay once again when Carina's tiny "customer in training" cart somehow FELL OVER striking Serafina in the face with the plastic "customer in training" flag. I picked her up out of the cart and comforted her as she was crying hysterically. Customers and employees alike swarmed around us and asked if I needed any help. She was fine, fortunately. I, on the other hand...was about to lose my mind.

We grabbed the few remaining things we needed and as soon as we were all the way across the store Aurelia proclaimed that now she wanted a piece of that danish back near the store entrance.

After a danish detour and then the checkout line it was time to return to the car. I buckled in Carina, Aurelia, then Serafina and only after all clasps were fastened did I realize that we were missing Serafina's beloved monkey lovie. TAKE MY EYES BUT NOT "MAA-MAA" MONKEY. I prayed to God please please please let the monkey be somewhere in the vicinity because I am not unbuckling everyone and going back inside. I ran over to the cart return and breathed a sigh of relief as I found monkey under the seat. Time to go home. And have a drink. Cheers🍸

The party was today. I still can't believe she's 6 years old.

Broken arm story for another day 😭

Any time I'm crazy enough to consider running errands with all 3 please remind me that there's not enough wine in the world...

Broken

::peeks in::

Anyone still here?

When I logged into Blogger tonight for the first time in 6 months and saw that the title of my last post was Realizing I can't do it all, I smiled.

Let's just jump back in.

One morning, about a month ago, I wasn't fast enough when my little miss "do it mySELF" went down too many stairs at once. I scooped her up and hugged her tight, attempting to make everything all better. She didn't seem to be in any pain after a few minutes had passed but she wasn't moving her left arm much. And it looked funny. I called her pediatrician and they went through a long list of questions and apparently a "funny looking arm" diagnosis warrants a trip to the ER.

I picked up Carina at preschool and brought her to Mike's work and then hightailed it to the Children's Hospital ER. The doctor examined her but since she showed no signs of pain she assumed Aurelia was fine. Protocol is an X-ray, though, so they wheeled us together, Aurelia sitting on my lap yelling, "wheeeee!" the entire time, all the way to Radiology. "Fun ride! Do again!"

The doctor was shocked to see that she had actually broken her arm. They sent us back to Radiology for more X-rays (I think the first one was kind of a we assume she's fine courtesy X-ray) "wheeeeee! Fun!" Then came the part where the had to sedate her in order to set the bone and put a cast on and I had to leave the room -- not because they made me, but because I couldn't watch. I sat right outside in the hallway, crying. Blaming myself.

She woke up happy and the hand-to-just-under-the-shoulder cast didn't even phase her. One more trip to Radiology "Fun ride! Wheeeee!" and then we headed home, about 7 hours after we had arrived. Way past her bed time, Aurelia fell asleep on the ride home.

4 short weeks later, she actually got the cast off today. They used a saw to cut it off and thinking she'd be afraid, the Radiology Technician had me hold up a towel so that she couldn't see what he was doing. She kept on trying to move it so she could watch. No fear, no tears. She's been so brave through this entire ordeal.

I, on the other hand, have been a freaking mess. Mommy guilt times a million on this one.

Filed under: Mommy fail, & finally returning to the land of the living

My part-time working-from-home contract is over, which means I'm back to being a stay-at-home-Mom for a while. I've told my consulting company that at this point in time, I'm only going to consider a a local or remote position that is less than 20 hours a week.

Why? Well, when it comes to childcare we've really struck out. With 3 weeks left to go in my contract, our Nanny sent me a text 5 minutes before she was supposed to arrive on a Monday morning stating that she wouldn't be coming back. She's pregnant, and said it was just too much for her. I get that -- I've worked while pregnant and it's hard -- but MORE THAN 5 MINUTES NOTICE would have been nice. You know?

Mike's work offers a limited number of subsidized backup-care hours per school year so we used a little of that, and for the rest? I took care of the girls all day and squeezed in as much work as I could and then worked all night, too. For 3 weeks. A few days in I was exhausted and by the end I felt like a zombie.

It's nice to be back to just one job now - being with my girls. I've blogged so little in the last 6 months I've missed chronicling a number of firsts, milestones, and fun stories. I might go back and try to recall some in the coming weeks but for now I'm just going to jump in and go from here.

Quick catch-up/what's new:

Carina starts preschool in the Fall two half-days a week. I'm so excited for her to socialize and learn, and I'm also glad that Aurelia and I will have a little bit of just-us time. We ditched the crib when we moved (back in December) and she's been in a full-size big girl bed ever since. I just measured her at the doctor's office yesterday and she is over 30 lbs. and 37.5 in. We've come a long way since the Failure to Thrive diagnosis. I can't tell you how glad I am that all of that is over.

Aurelia is walking everywhere now! Her first steps were at 17 Months and just about 2 weeks ago marked more time on her feet than walking on her knees. She hit 18 Months on Sunday and is talking up a storm; I would guess she says about 50 different words at this point. She's still nursing 3 times a day: morning, before nap, and before bed. Oh and lately? Add twice a night to that. Since we moved she's been up at least TWO TIMES EVERY NIGHT AND MOMMA IS EXHAUSTED. We've chosen this coming up weekend to sort of let her CIO and see what happens. Please wish us luck.

And now onto my Mommy Fail. On my 2nd day not working I thought it would be fun to take the girls out to Toys R Us to buy them a little treat for being so good while I was trying to jam as much work as possible into daylight hours.

I put them in the cart and we headed down the Princess aisle. Of course they wanted to hold the entire contents of the aisle and whined when I put Rapunzel and her pony back on the shelf and cried when I set Baby Princess Anna down (even though they already have her at home!) and completely lost their shit when I insisted that we couldn't take home the jumbo-pack of 6" Disney Toddler Dolls for the low price of $80. "But Moooom, they have Tiana!"

I began to feel like the cruelest {and dumbest} person alive. Take them to a toy store and show them all these cute and fun things that they can't have…brilliant. So I made haste for the Disney Junior section to pick up the Sofia the First sisters doll set I had picked out ahead of time for the girls to share. They looked at it for 10 seconds, definitely excited, but then they spied the Doc McStuffins and Jake and the Neverland Pirates displays and promptly made it clear to me that they needed ALL THE THINGS.

We left that part of the store as quickly as possible and trudged over to a corner that had a train table set up. Perfect. I got them out of the cart and set them down to play for a few minutes. I had barely put Aurelia down when Carina announced to me {and to all the other kids playing} that she needed to go poopoo. NOW.

Aurelia protested getting back in the cart so I carried her while pushing the cart with the other hand and praying that Carina didn't poo her pants on the way to the bathroom, which just had to be all the way at the other end of the store. Once inside the stall I discovered that unfortunately I'd left our portable potty seat at home. So I held Carina in a hover position on the toilet (otherwise she would have fallen in) and pleaded with Aurelia to not crawl on the dirty bathroom floor.

She looked at me, said "go!" and began to crawl under the stall door. Thankfully Carina finished soon thereafter so I set her down and told her to wait, swung upon the door, and chased down Aurelia who had just about made it to the sinks and was still on all fours {ew}. Carina came bounding out of the stall with her pants and Princess underpants down around her ankles shouting, "silly baby!"

I scooped up Aurelia and pulled up Carina's clothes as quickly as possible and made for the cash registers. We were just about to check out when my phone rang. It was work. Of course it was a phone call I had been waiting for regarding whether or not my current customer was going to extend anyone so I spent a few minutes on the phone getting bad news while trying to keep Carina from diving into the dollar bin and prevent Aurelia from emptying the entire contents all over the floor.

Hang up phone. Purchase Sofia doll. Get in car. Put on Frozen soundtrack for the millionth time. Sigh. Drive home. Thank God I had put something in the crockpot earlier that morning.

Welcome back to being a stay-at-home Mom, Mama G ;)

So guilty of 2nd child syndrome

With Carina, I was *almost* perfect. Each of her milestones celebrated in great detail with pictures (and often videos) adorn the pages of this blog. Her monthly posts include sections about her size, favorite toys, and pictures with seasonal clip art proudly displaying how many months old she is. Multiple professional photos of her smiling face hang on the walls of our home.

Poor Aurelia is getting the shaft. I managed to squeak through her first 6 monthly posts before succumbing to what I {rather unaffectionately} refer to as my full-time-working-Mommy-brain. I mean to do these things, and I want to do them, but I just never get around to it. It's a combination of forgetting and not having the time, and quite possibly probably a dash of laziness. I have remembered to take some of the photos (like below -- from three months ago, ha!) but her 7 Month post never happened. And now I'd feel silly doing one since she's 10 Months, but these are too cute to not at least share.

The 8, 9, and 10 Month stickers sit unused in my camera bag and every time I see them I feel a pang of guilt. Is it too late to just slap them all on her right now and take a few pictures?

You've come so far since your 6 Month post.  Tooth #7 is coming in (Carina only had two at this age!) and you can say Mama and Dada pretty clearly. You babble constantly; your favorite sound seems to be "heh" and depending upon the inflection it can mean a host of different things from "I'm so happy!" to "OMGSTOPTHATRIGHTNOW!" to "please give me your pancake".

At your 9 Month appointment earlier in July you were 18 lbs. 8 oz. and 28 inches, if Daddy is remembering correctly. You're sharing size 4 diapers with big sis and are mostly in 12-18 Month clothes. Although you are wearing some random 12 Month, 24 Month, and even 2T clothes. We use Carina's and your pajamas interchangeably most of the time. You'll wear it one day, and then {after washing, of course} she'll wear it the next. I'm having visions of fights over clothes during your teenage years ;)

Unlike your sister, you eat anything and everything imaginable. You out-eat Carina at most meals, favoring avocado spread on toast and spaghetti. Much to our delight (and dismay at the same time!) you began crawling just yesterday...and off you went. It's time to baby proof all over again. Our favorite milestones include "SO BIG!" which involves raising your arms high up in the air when we ask how big Aurelia is, and clapping on cue. You get so excited when we ask you to clap.

I'm going to try to get better about this, love. I want there to be as many pictures and videos of you in existence and I want you to feel that we celebrated your milestones and accomplishments as much as we did your sister's. We love you so much and have the best of intentions.

Weaning fail

No, not Aurelia.

Me. Zoloft.

I'm one of those obnoxious procrastinators who waits until their medication has run out before requesting a refill. After working as a Pharmacy Technician for years, you think I'd know better...but anyway, so I order it online and go to pick it up last Tuesday. Except they tell me there were no refills left so I'd have to come back. I requested they check the original prescription because I knew there were refills, but they couldn't because their computer system was down. Awesome.

So I forgot about it...one day, two days, three days. On Saturday I told myself that no matter what I had to go get it. And then we got sidetracked. Monday came around but hey, I thought to myself, I've been feeling pretty good. Maybe I could just stop taking it?

Well, here we are just over a week since I've had my last pill and today was the nail in the coffin on my attempt to let go of SSRIs. I've been anxious as work is beginning to demand more of my time than I'm able to give and people are pulling me in all sorts of different directions. Tonight I have to do a ton of laundry and pack us all up for our trip to visit my family in Cape Cod this weekend. And both girls won't stop screaming; it's almost 9 PM and they're both still awake, PISSED. I feel myself beginning to shake and panic and I know it was stupid of me to try this.

All I want to do is crawl in a hole and fall asleep...only to wake up on the beach this weekend where I will hopefully get the chance to relax. Nothing is going to stop me from swinging by the pharmacy and grabbing my prescription on the way out of town, though.

I so badly wanted to not need it, but I'm just not there yet. le sigh.

The 10th Circle of Hell

I am fairly certain that had Dante come in contact with modern children's toy packaging, he would have included it as the 10th Circle of Hell in his Inferno.

I dread opening toys we receive as gifts or buy for the girls because the packaging is almost always nothing short of obnoxious. Twist ties, molded plastic, tape, string, and elastics stuck to or woven through cardboard or more plastic. Who on earth comes up with this? I speculate that none of them are parents.

4 Reasons I Hate Toy Packaging:

(Or, why I want to throat punch toy companies)

1. It's frustrating
In addition to purchasing toys to enrich and engage my daughters, I can't lie; I buy them so I can relax for a few minutes while they play. But when I attempt to rip Princess Jasmine away from her cardboard backing only to find 15 different twisty connections securing her in place and there is an impatient toddler screaming, "open it! Open it! Open it!" all the while I begin shaking with anger. And of course Carina only plays with her for a minute and then discards her, opting to throw the empty box around instead. I spent more time freeing Jasmine from her twist tie bondage than Carina did, playing with her.

My sister attempting to free one of my niece's birthday gifts yesterday - she cut her finger just after I took this

2. It can be injurious
Raise your hand if you've ever been hurt by jagged plastic or gotten a cardboard box paper cut. There have been a couple of occasions in which I have sliced my finger, cursed the invention of plastic, and then vowed to never buy another toy again.

3. It can be counter-productive
Carina lost one of her precious Princess figures last week (Rapunzel) and was quite sad. The Disney Store was having a big sale so I bought her a replacement - the Rapunzel set. As I was fumbling with the molded plastic to get the figures out, Rapunzel broke. She was wedged in there so tightly that the sheer force of setting her free snapped her plastic hair. WHY, Disney store, why? All that packaging is supposed to keep things from breaking, right?

I can feel my anxiety level rising from simply the thought of extricating the 7 dwarfs

4. It's wasteful
You don't need to put everything on display anchored by ties or tape or that ridiculous molded plastic (or God-forbid a combination of those...ugh). Our kids will beg us to buy it anyway with just a pretty picture on a box and everything thrown inside. And then we won't need to recuperate or go to anger management classes afterwards. Forget the frivolous 8 or 9th twist tie or double layered plastic; less is more. Do it up, toy companies. Parents everywhere will thank you, and likely buy more toys.


"This complicated packaging is so awesome!" said no one EVER.

World's worst procrastinator

Almost a year and a half ago I left my full coffee mug just a bit too close to the computer while Carina was sitting in my lap. I'll bet you can imagine what happened next.

Despite its brief soak in Caribou blend, my laptop made a full recovery. Well, almost; the keyboard never worked again. So, since that fateful day I have been using an external keyboard with my laptop...one that previously accompanied Mike's circa 2002 iMac. Read: big, bulky, and LOUD. No joke, the thunderous sound of my typing on it makes Mike turn up the TV volume. It is beginning to yellow (it was white once upon a time), has hair and crumbs trapped inside (umm...ew?), and at least a handful of keys have grimy stuff caked on them. I have no idea how I managed using this monstrosity for 17 months.

But today is a new magical day. Just a few minutes ago Mike installed a brand new keyboard as part of my birthday present. One that fits right within my laptop. It isn't loud. It doesn't have hair or crumbs or grime. My fingers are still getting used to the shape of the keys and I can't seem to find the Delete button but I am so happy to no longer have to carry around the external keyboard and disturb whoever is watching TV near me.

::cue heavenly music::

It was only $20 and took 5 minutes to install. Why didn't I do this a year and a half ago? I'm probably one of the laziest people alive.

Tell me I'm not the only procrastinator out there. Have you ever waited way too long to do something?

Mommy's First Panic Attack

I was praying this day wouldn't come because I knew that if it did, there would be no possible way I could keep procrastinating. Despite knowing that something is not right with me, I still haven't called the doctor yet.

The day after Christmas we woke up early (before the girls were even up!) packed the car, and left Massachusetts for Philadelphia before 8 AM. We planned on stopping briefly at home in Connecticut to drop off the gifts we received from my family and load the trunk with the presents for Mike's family. We only encountered a little traffic right before reaching New Haven, which set us back about a half hour. No biggie; we were feeling pretty good at this point.

My riding buddy

Around 11 we left for Philly. No problems going over the George Washington Bridge in New York City - which is rare - but as soon as we drove into New Jersey on 95 traffic picked up. I checked the crappy new Maps app on my iPhone (can they please get rid of that?) and there was a red line all the way from Newark to Trenton. The app didn't even list 95 as one of our 3 best options. Ugh. We exited before 95 South turned into a parking lot but unfortunately Route 1 wasn't much better...stop lights every few blocks and either snow or freezing rain for the majority of the trip. Note: I sat in the backseat between the girls' car seats for the trip. I don't like sitting there, as it's so tight that I can barely move, but the anxiety that would ensue from me not being able to help either of them if they began crying (and continued, for an extended period of time) outweighs how much I loathe sitting in that tiny prison {for now}.

Right before we got back on a highway Carina threw up all over herself, the car seat, her favorite monkey, and a whole slew of other things that were hanging out in the backseat. The combination of the traffic, the prospect of being in the car for another few hours, the discomfort of sitting in the backseat, and then Carina blowing chunks everywhere...I lost it. I started shaking, hyperventilating, screaming, and crying. I had no control over myself. The epitome of a freak-out; I felt crazy. 

IRONY - she never took bottles as a baby

Mike held my hand until he was able to pull over a minute or so later. He changed Carina while I attempted to calm myself down. She asked me a handful of times, "Mommy okay?" and it broke my heart.

The rest of the trip included Aurelia projectile vomiting all over herself and at least an hour of incessant fussing and crying - both girls. Carina wanted milk but had already finished all we brought with us and neither sippy cup was clean. Luckily I had about 4 oz. of pumped breastmilk and a bottle handy. So...envision me, trying to keep a binky in Aurelia's mouth with one hand, and helping Carina drink breastmilk out of a bottle with the other as we cruised down the Pennsylvania Turnpike in the rain. I had a big drink when we finally arrived in Philly, at 4:30 PM.

I don't think we'll ever attempt to drive from Mass to Philly (or vice versa) in one shot again...at least not for a long time. It's not fair to the girls and to be truthful I just don't think I can handle it. I hate to think that my outburst and shaking scared them. I know I scared Mike, but am thankful he acted fast to get us pulled over. First stop when we get home next week? My doctor's office. I never want that to happen again, especially in front of the girls.

How My Day Was - As Illustrated by MS Paint

While taking care of 2 under 2 I experience days that make me feel like the best Mom ever, decent days, just okay days, and days where I want to crawl into a hole until my kids leave for college (okay not really, but you get the point). So here is a quick run down of what happens during each of those types of days, and what  sort of Mama G Mike comes home to in the evening.

SUPERMOM! Day

When Mike arrives home there is a culinary masterpiece waiting on the table, brownies baked for dessert, laundry folded, diapers stuffed, dishes done, toys put away, a blog post already written, and two happy and well-rested children along with a contented and AWESOME LOOKING (see right) Mommy. I feel great, empowered, and truly fulfilled. Okay now excuse me for a second while I go {sadly} laugh at the fact that this has happened only once in 10+ weeks but somehow I still hold myself to this ridiculous standard. I get frustrated that I just can't do all this every day.

Good Day 

No baked goods or blog posts to speak of, but when Mike arrives home we are all in good spirits with a crockpot dinner almost ready. I also had time to put on makeup, do something with my hair, and change into some real clothes (read: not pajamas or sweats). There are probably a couple chores left to do and an errant toy here or there but it doesn't look like hurricane Carina {oooh...yikes, too close?} went through the house. We're all happy, but maybe a little tired. We have more of these days; probably a few a week.

Okay Day

When Mike arrives home there are dishes in the sink and I probably didn't even bother with the {overflowing} laundry, but I did summon the strength to throw a frozen pizza in the oven. WIN. I managed to change into sweatpants, brush my hair, and slap on a little bit of eyeliner but other than that not much else gets done. There are toys strewn about the floor, part of Carina's lunch might be splattered on the wall, and I am tired. I breathe a huge sigh of relief when Mike walks in the door and pass him a kid {or two} and sit on my duff to zone out for a few minutes. I think I have one or two of these days a week.

GET ME OUT OF HERE Day 

Hours before Mike is supposed to arrive home I call begging him to please come home sooner for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy or else I'm going to rip my hair out, shut myself in the bathroom, and eat an entire half gallon of ice cream. I'm still in my pajamas and doubt I've had a chance to put on deodorant. Both kids are probably screaming and/or angry at Mommy and the house is a complete dump. Like, so bad that WATCH OUT you just stepped in a fresh cat hairball. I wish these days were fewer and further between than they are, but I probably end up with one a week. I had three of them in a row a few weeks back and I thought I was going to have to be committed.

Which days do you have the most of? ;)

Should I be proud or embarrassed?

Dunkin Donuts.

Any self-respecting New Englander is quite familiar with this chain of coffee & donut shops, as it's rather hard not to be; there is one on almost every corner.

My 5 years in Wisconsin were extremely just a little sad and dreary because {tragedy of all tragedies} there wasn't a single Dunkin Donuts within a 30 mile radius. When we moved to Connecticut I was so excited to see that there is a Dunkies just 3 blocks away.

Too excited, probably, since we ended up going quite often. It made for a perfect walk to break up the slow winter afternoons. I didn't give Carina her first donut until we knew we were dealing with failure to thrive and even then she just had one munchkin.

When she was about 16 Months old we were driving down a road we had never before traversed and passed a Dunkin Donuts. She exclaimed, "donut!" Mike and I looked at each other in amazement. She recognized the Dunkin Donuts logo and knew that it meant donuts were there. My first thought was, "wow! That's smart!" Then it hit me that my barely-a-toddler had brand awareness.  Embarrassment began to take over. Clearly I had been taking her too regularly...

Enjoying a chocolate glazed donut

It was about then that we started going a little less frequently. Something just didn't sit right with me that Carina, at such a young age, could identify corporate logos and associate them with the product that they sell. So much advertising these days is geared towards children and it bothers me (but that's a post for another day). I don't like to see it affecting my child at all, let alone at 16 Months.

Does your baby or toddler recognize any brands or products like this? Does it bother you (or would this bother you?) Or am I just being ridiculous? ;)
 

More coffee please - Toddle Along Tuesday

Mother of the year right here. Carina has been after my cup of coffee for as long as I can remember. One day she reached up onto our kitchen table (which I thought was a safe, high-enough place) and knocked it on the floor. Thank goodness it took a trajectory in the opposite direction, so she emerged from the incident burn-free.

After that, I decided it was worth letting her taste coffee to see how yucky it is to the infantile palate. Or so I assumed it would be? My hope was that this little sip would turn her off and she would stop trying to swipe it. I poured a very small amount in her tea cup and watched. She slowly raised it to her mouth, took a sip, and exclaimed, "mmmm yummy coffee! More coffee!"

Fail. Just...fail.

Since that day, she has asked for coffee almost every morning. She doesn't really care for juice, is "meh" about milk, but goes crazy for Breakfast Blend and Colombian Roast. ::facepalm::

More coffee please!

Before you judge, every time we give her some (which isn't often), we simply pour a very tiny bit and then load it up with milk. And? It's usually decaf :)

Are there any other toddlers out there with a taste for café au lait?


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This week's Toddle Along Tuesday co-host is Heather from Terrell Family Fun and the topic is funny/quirky baby or toddler habits! Does your little one do something that constantly cracks you up or makes you shake your head? There are no rules here, except that you link up a relevant post (old or new) rather than your whole blog (or business, #comeonnow).

Next week's topic is weddings! I realized I've never shared photos from our wedding on the blog. This should be fun; share yours!

If you like advance notice for TAT, check out the bottom right of my blog - topics for the next couple months are listed. Would you like to submit a topic idea and/or volunteer to co-host one week? E-mail me!

Side effect of weaning: I'm in binky hell

Prior to weaning Carina, for the most part we restricted binky usage to naps, nighttime, and long car rides. We never had an issue with taking it out of her mouth when it was time for her to be done with it. Until now, of course.

Since she decided she no longer wanted to nurse, she has deemed binky her new best friend and wants it in her mouth round the clock. Try to take it out? Cue hysterical screaming fit. Hide it? She won't stop looking for that bad boy until she finds it herself - or you break down and give it back to her.

While she is only 18 Months and it certainly wouldn't be a big issue if we let her keep it for part of the day under normal circumstances, she WON'T FREAKING EAT when it's in. Failure to thrive + binky in mouth 24/7 = big, frustrating problem.

So today, we began day #1 of operation "binky stays in crib" because our tiny toddler needs to gain weight. So far? Lots of this:

And this:

Sidenote: No, these photos weren't taken today. I would be a cruel, cruel Mommy if I had taken pictures of her while in such utter distress. And? Those Cadbury Mini-Eggs in the back right corner of that bottom photo would definitely not have lasted this long past Easter ;)

So anyway, back to Binkygate: 2012. Needless to say, she has spent a lot of time in her crib today. Mike had some luck distracting her with dancing, and then her Super Why obsession paid off long enough for us to get dinner ready. Maybe we need to invest in a few new and exciting toys that will keep her mind off of her beloved binky's absence.

Did anyone experience something similar while weaning your little one from the binky? And/or what SUPER FUN toys can your toddler not get enough of lately? Momma needs all the help she can get, here. I almost gave in a few times today because I just couldn't handle the tears. And screaming. But mostly the screaming...I have quite the headache in its wake.

Don't think I'm cut out for this...

Growing up I was never certain of the career path I wanted to take. Even now, at 28 I'm still not sure what I want to do for the rest of my life. The only thing I've always known? That I wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom.

Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to admit that after getting my wish for almost a year now, I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not cut out for it.

I was feeling this way back in November, shortly before Mike defended his thesis back in Wisconsin. I thought it was just a situational thing, with Mike's long hours and the seemingly endless packing. I did feel better for a while shortly after the move to Connecticut, but then Carina's failure to thrive issues and the oh-so-welcome pregnancy-induced fatigue began to take much of the joy out of my days. It became {and still is} a constant struggle trying to get her to eat. At this point? I'm so tired I don't have the energy to chase her around with food or get down on the floor and play with her. I feel like a lousy Mommy most of the time.

How all this makes me feel

So...I'm entertaining the idea of returning to work shortly after Aurelia arrives. My non-compete agreement from my old job expires in two months and I've been getting quite a few calls from recruiters. I have even had some promising interview calls. I'm hoping to find something part-time, but there doesn't seem to be much in my field that allows that. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.

I wish I could be happy being at home, and I feel like a failure that I can't :(

I went blonde again, but...

...I was in a hurry and picked the wrong color. UGH. Let's rewind. I was born with very {cute} light blonde hair that became darker and darker as I grew older.

I'm the adorable one on the left ;)

When I was 16, I started dyeing it blonde. That way it remained until I found out I was pregnant with Carina.

Younger, blonder Mama G

I think I waited until right before my baby shower and dyed it one more time. Then? I just let it go. When I posted my 14 week bumpdate a couple months ago I asked for your opinions on whether or not I should leave it be, or go back to blonde. Most of you said that I would make a hot brunette (haha thanks!) but for some reason I just got antsy, wanting to go back to the way it was. Honestly? I just felt prettier when I was blonde.

14 week photo: in desperate need of some hair help

Now on to my mistake. I'm cheap and have always used dye in a box from the drugstore. I know, I know...I've just never been able to afford getting it done professionally. I thought I remembered which shade I used, but I guess I was wrong, because it didn't come out looking like the light blonde pic above.

At least it's not 3 different colors (like in my bumpdate photo), though, right? I think I'll give it 4-6 weeks and then go for the lighter color. So for now, consider it a work in progress ;)

Or...I guess it's a possibility that I did buy the right color, and my hair is semi-rejecting it. I'm hoping that pregnancy didn't completely change my hair's ability to absorb dye. Has anyone had experience in this area?

Ha, sorry for such a superficial post! I think that even geeks deserve to feel pretty, too ;)