Mom Skills I've Mastered

Having two kids under the age of 2 for a few months was not ever always a walk in the park. Attempting to meet the needs of two little ones -- in addition to your own -- can be mentally and physically exhausting.

But? There are obvious plus sides, of course...like basking in sweet sweet baby snuggles and toddler hugs simultaneously. And the fact that they will eventually (hopefully) be each other's BFFs {they better be!} There are some lesser known pluses as well. Namely, the awesome skillz that you'll develop that you didn't even know existed...

Things I've Mastered with 2 Under 2

1. Juggling baby while changing a diaper

When Aurelia was still a tiny newborn that refused to be put down, many of her naps were snug in the Moby wrap. It seemed like putting her in the wrap was the bat call for Carina to take an epic dump. I tried to lift her up to the changing table a few times but it just wasn't happening. So I broke out the changing pad from the diaper bag and managed to take care of it on the floor in front of me. Other than a few moments of Aurelia dangling precariously over Carina, it was a success. "Bye bye turds!" (as Carina says), and baby still asleep.

2. Silent dishwasher emptying

Aurelia is super sensitive to sound and even dishes clanking against each other can wake her up. I know that she'll have to learn to sleep through noise eventually, but for now? MOMMA NEEDS BABY TO NAP. Emptying the dishwasher takes twice as long as it used to because I opt for slow and silent over quick and loud, but I'm getting better at it. 

3. Nursing while cooking

Some days the little miss wants to eat constantly. Since Momma has to eat, too, breastfeeding while cooking/preparing food has become a necessity for me. Luckily, my nursing pillow can tighten around my body with Velcro so snugly that I am able to walk around in the kitchen and have one hand free to slather my bread with a giant glob of Nutella. I have also managed to make Macaroni and Cheese and Quesadillas (OMG I'm awesome!) all while nursing the babe.

4. One handed typing

When the wee one is sleeping on my chest, I often hop onto the computer to catch up on blogs or attempt to blog myself. More often than not, one arm is positioned under the baby leaving me with just one free hand with which to type. I've become a pro. I can churn out a couple of paragraphs in no time with only five fingers. This also comes in handy at nighttime when Momma's got a glass of wine in the other hand... ;)

5. Marathon peeing

The first few times I used the restroom when both kids were in the living room by themselves I would hear a loud, ominous THUD mid-stream. I'd have to shimmy out of the bathroom pants-down to make sure that Carina hadn't drop kicked the baby. I adapted to the situation and am now proud (proud? okay maybe not proud...embarrassed?) to admit that I can pee at lightning speed. No more leisurely bathroom breaks here when I'm home and both kids are awake.

I've even peed WITH the baby sleeping in the Ergo. ENVY ME.

If these were Olympic events I would totally win gold, yo. Definitely. What skills you never knew you needed have you developed since becoming a Mom?

Christmas recap & why we won't be going to Church for a while

We spent Christmas with my family in Massachusetts this year, and had such a wonderful time. My two sisters and I have a total of five kids ages 4 and under so it was a ton of fun, and just a bit crazy, as I'm sure you can imagine ;)

Here are some of my favorite photos:

Trying to get a cute matching jammies photo - no dice

Aurelia was not a fan of the little hood

Carina pretending to be a shepherd

Our best family photo

My little elf on Christmas morning

Carina putting her doll's crown on her head, "I'm a princess!"

Playing with her kitchen! Her Christmas gift from her Mimi (my Mom)

My tiny present

I wish I knew what she was doing?

Fun with Daddy-doo

Playing with her cousins

OMG SO MUCH FUN

A classic Carina face

Christmas Eve Mass was fun. And by fun I mean hilariously awful. As soon as we arrived Carina started pitching a fit because we wouldn't allow her to leave the pew to run to the altar and consort with baby Jesus, Mary & Joseph, and the wise men. Shortly thereafter the choir started singing so we were able to distract her by encouraging her to sing along. After the Christmas Carol ended, she yelled loudly, "all done song!" 

I reminded her for the tenth time that we have to be quiet in Church, to which she replied resoundingly to the ladies in the pew behind us, "be quiet in Church!" ::facepalm:: They just laughed.

Then she farted audibly and offensively...to the point that those ladies behind us were fanning their hands and rolling their eyes. Not wanting to miss out on the passing gas party, Aurelia joined in and I felt a warm "pop pop pop pop pop" on my leg. Containing my laughter was just not possible.

After all was said and done Mike ended up retreating to the vestibule on three separate occasions. First with a tantruming Carina, then an inconsolable overtired Aurelia, and finally a defiant Carina, once again. The people in the last pew gave Mike a "we've been there" smile, which he appreciated so much. Carina's response to the closing song? "Sing it again!"      

I couldn't tell you what any of the readings or homily were about, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get the chance to sing a single verse of "Joy to the World". Because of all of the above the service was stressful and frustrating, but fortunately we can laugh about it now. Please don't tell God that we might sit Mass out for a little while, at least until I get my anxiety under control...

How were your holidays?


P.S. Toddle Along Tuesday will return next week with a topic of Favorite Holiday Gift. Now that all the gifts have been unwrapped, which has proven to be your child's favorite? (and/or yours!)

Things We Actually Say

M and I have compiled a list of things we never thought we would say, yet have, while caring for our little one. Some of these are cut & pasted from Twitter, others are just famously {or infamously} remembered by us.

Carina, please eat your breakfast, not your crayons.

No, Carina, we don't put monkey in our hoo-ha. 

Carina, did you just leave a pee pee trail through the hallway?!?

We don't throw eggs at Daddy. 

No no no, no playing in the kitty litter.

Carina, we don't roll around in our poopy. 

Up to no good again, aren't we?

No, Carina, we don't eat rug.

Carina, we don't chew on the kitty's fur.

I NEED AN ADULT.

We don't go fishing in the dirty diaper pail. 

Kitty food doesn't taste very good, does it?

No, Carina, we don't put our mouth on the toilet seat. (!!!)


Okay, let's hear what you actually say ;)

My first "conversation" with Carina

A few days ago Carina was playing at the table while I was enjoying a cup of coffee. Her face contorted into a funny little grunt as she spread her hands out on the side of the table and got up on her tippy toes.

"What are you doing, Carina?" I asked. She looked at me, flexed her feet up and down, and then returned to a state of deep concentration.

"Carina, are you pooping?" I guessed.

"YEAH!" she exclaimed.

"Would you like me to change your diaper?" was the next logical question.

"Yeah," she replied.

So I brought her into the nursery and sure enough there was a turd, so I changed her diaper.

Simple, sure. Gross? Probably. But after we went back to playing I sat back and smiled. For the first time in her almost 15 months of life, she verbally communicated her needs to me. Amazing. Seems appropriate that it would be about poop, right? ;)

So happy to have a clean diaper ;)

Just for fun - I added a little poll at the top left. Do you think baby #2 will be a boy or girl? Get your guesses in!

Yeah that's not what I wanted you to eat....

Last week I posted about Carina's archenemy: food, and how she really does not want to eat. Well guess what?! You get what you wish for.

Unfortunately, our cats' crusty multiple-hours-old wet food was not what I had in mind. Cue vomit.

M was out running an errand and I needed to pee quite badly, so I brought Carina in the bathroom with me and let her cruise along the tub (which she loves) while I relieved my sad pregnant bladder. She looked at me mischievously and bounded out of the bathroom.

I followed after her into the kitchen about 15 seconds later to find her seated next to the cat food bowl. She turned towards me with a look of pure disgust plastered across her face. I opened her mouth, and fished out a fistful of 9 Lives shredded turkey in gravy. It's my cats' favorite. Carina did not share the sentiment.

It's awful that in retrospect I wish I had ran to get my camera, right? ;)


What strange things has your little one eaten (or attempted to eat)?

It's becoming almost impossible

To change her freaking diaper. She kicks and screams and even her favorite Storybook Rhymes singing about the birds and beasts at the animal fair can't distract her anymore. She tries to roll over, sometimes successfully, and once or twice while I'm putting the liner in her diaper she has taken off. Watching her naked little bum hightail it away as her palms go "slap slap slap" on the hardwood floors almost makes me forget how frustrated I am. And that I need to get a diaper on her little booty ASAP.

Today, she took quite the dump (read: she hadn't gone in 3 days) and the liner didn't quite contain it all. I paused for a moment, dirty diaper in one hand, her ankles in the other, trying to decide what to do. It was time to give her a bath, but I didn't want to put a fresh diaper on or stick the poopy one back on for the trip to the bathroom 20 feet away, so I just wiped her off and sat her on the changing pad. "Stay, Carina" I instructed, as I ran to the bathroom as fast as humanly possible to take care of the mess and start the bath water. I should add that I didn't actually think she would stay there, but I figured it was worth a shot.

Not 10 seconds later I heard the "slap slap slap" of her palms coming down the hall towards me. She turned the corner into the bathroom with the legs of her footie PJs hanging behind her like coattails. She stood up next to the tub and got all excited about getting in; she loves baths. As the tub filled up I ran the unfortunate diaper back to the nursery to put it in the wet bag, and then made haste for the bathtub. Unfortunately, my bare feet were soon greeted by a rather large puddle of pee in the hall right in front of the bathroom. And there was a trail of it all the way to the tub. Nice, Carina.

20 seconds sans diaper and there's a lake of pee on our hardwood floor. I can't make this stuff up. What was I thinking?

I dare you to try to change it, Mom!

Okay, let's hear it...what has your baby peed on?

My Classification Levels of Poop Severity

I know, I know...I talk about poop too much. But it's such an integral part of life with an infant, it just can't be ignored. Plus, I know that deep down you probably find some sort of satisfaction in reading about other Moms who have witnessed the horror that you have yourself experienced.

Please forgive my crude paint skills. Clearly, I have none.

1 alarm: This is what we all hope to find when we unfasten a foul smelling diaper. Just a tiny little turdlet. Just one wipe and baby is good to go. Unfortunately I think I can count on one hand the number of times that this is all I have encountered down below.
2 alarm: This is what I usually find when I peel back Carina's diaper (wow - she is going to KILL me someday when she reads this, isn't she?) It's gross, but it's all contained within the confines of the diaper. Sure, it will take a number of wipes to take care of this mess, but usually no gagging is necessary.
3 alarm: When I see one of these I breathe a sigh of relief {possibly after a dry heave or two}. Even though the poop is on the very edges of the diaper, somehow none managed to escape it. Magically, no clothing falls victim to this epic deuce. Must be a miracle.
4 alarm: Crap (literally). A small spot on the pants or the back of the onesie is clearly visible. When I see this bad boy I scoop Carina up and haul ass (literally) to the changing pad. It's not the end of the world, but it means that some poor article of clothing needs to be thrown in the laundry ASAP. Also, it's probably going to drain the wipes container.
5 alarm: "How the eff did she manage that?!?" I think to myself as I curse my life and send in for reinforcements (If M is home, I usually recruit him to handle the shitty clothes while I make haste for the bathtub with Carina.) If it's just me, I laugh and cry at the same time as I clean up the mess, and then remind myself that I should maybe get on some type of birth control, at least until Carina is potty trained.

I hope to never ever encounter what a 6 alarm poop would look like. I can't even imagine...

Happy Friday, folks.

Update on our poop sacks (aka cloth diapers)

If you've been reading for a long time you might remember how excited I was in anticipation of using cloth diapers. M affectionately dubbed them "poop sacks" early on, and I took advantage of last year's Black Friday sales to build quite the stash.

We tried our newborn diapers shortly after Carina was born, but were less than pleased. We just couldn't get the right fit and became discouraged quickly. Once we became faced with moving to an apartment complex with coin op laundry, we just decided to put cloth diapers on hold until we finally moved to Connecticut.

So we're here, and it was time! I happily put Carina in a FuzziBunz One-Size diaper and crossed my fingers that it would go well. A bit later, I heard a few grunts and then I watched in horror as a tiny spot of baby poop grew and grew...it spread from her thigh to her knee before I could grab her and make haste for the bathroom. Crap. Literally. What did I do wrong?

Oops I crapped my pants

Then we tried a BumGenius 4.0 pocket, this time at night. A number of my Momma friends told me that this one was their favorite. I had high hopes until I heard Carina screaming at 2 AM. I ran into the nursery to make sure she was okay and picked her up out of the crib. Much to my dismay, the front of her pajamas was soaked in pee. So was the sheet. And a few of her blankets. At 2 AM. Perfect.

So again, we gave up. We were about to go visit our families for the holidays anyway, and weren't planning on cloth diapering when we were there. I vowed to give it one more shot after we got home - it was sort of my New Year's Resolution.

Fast forward about 2 weeks to today; I am loving our cloth diapers! In retrospect, the poopsplosion and pee reservoir were my own fault. I didn't realize at first that one size diapers have different settings, specific to baby's size. So yeah I guess I had Carina on the setting for babies who are 30+ lbs, and Carina is closer to 19 lbs. I'm embarrassed. They are working much, much better now, and I am eager to get my hands on some more...

Do you cloth diaper? What is your favorite brand?

Oh the joys of being a Mom...

Carina's nose has been like a snot faucet since before she was diagnosed with a double ear infection. This, however, I was just not prepared for...

Happy Sunday, friends ;)

Urgent Care and my Happy Baby is Back!

After a low grade fever and a nursing strike that ended with Carina finally feeding but then vomiting everything up all over herself, me, and our bed, I called the doctor at 7 last night. They had us bring her in and after a quick glance in each ear the doctor announced, "yep. A raging double ear infection."

Fantastic.

I felt like such a bad Mom for not calling the doctor sooner. I asked a number of my Mommy friends and they all said that a fever of 101.5 was nothing to worry about. This was the first time she even had a semblance of a fever, so I just wasn't sure what to do. I think I'll go with my gut from now on.

We started her on Amoxicillin last night and gave her a little Tylenol to help her get to sleep. After an hour and half long nap this morning, she woke up a happy baby! She is almost back to her old self already.

Mommy is my jungle gym

Isn't it so so sad to have a sick baby? When did yours first get sick?

My Grossness Threshold

How gross is too gross? Do I even have a threshold anymore? I'm thinking I would probably disgust my pre-baby self...

If Carina has a stuffy nose and is struggling with a booger, I usually break out the big guns (aka the Nosefrida). However, if I can't find the snotsucker, or if said boogie is already half-way out of her honker, I just reach in and swipe it.  I swear at almost 9 months old she must already know of the social impropriety of my actions, because she just stares at me with this, "did you seriously just do that, Mom?" look on her face.

What, you got a problem with my boogers?

Grossed out yet? If not, you will be after this next one, I promise you.

On mornings when Carina wakes up at the ungodly hour of 5 AM, I feed her and then bring her into our bed in the {sometimes vain} hope that she will fall asleep again. I put her right in between M and I, usually on a baby blanket. One successful morning, I picked her up after her nap and soon realized that she had bathed her clothes in a lovely dusting of #2. I looked down at the baby blanket. Yep. Another victim. I threw it directly in the hamper.

That night, as I was heading to bed I noticed some discoloration on the bed sheet. After examining it closely, it became clear that little miss dumpy had not only soaked through her pajamas and the baby blanket -  her turds had stained the bed sheets as well. At this point I was so exhausted, I wasn't going to let a little bit of dried poop get in my way, so I climbed into bed and fell asleep. I assured my self I would take care of it the next morning.

The next day I forgot. Then the next; I was too tired. Then it escaped my mind, and so on...6 days later, that poo was still starting me right in the face. Finally, I peeled off the sheet and made haste for the laundry room, feeling gross and embarrassed.

Sleeping in 6 day-old baby droppings and digging for infant nose-gold; just another day in the G household...

Why do I just not care? Please tell me you do some gross stuff, too? Or go ahead and tell me I'm a vile and repulsive creature. Up to you.

Success!

I wasn't planning on posting an update, but so many people have asked...

Yesterday was awful.  It marked Day 7 of no bowel movement, and Carina was miserable.  We tried everything we could to get her to go on her own and then called the doctor back.  When they heard how loudly she was screaming they asked for me to bring her in so they could do an abdominal exam.

Sad face

Carina did not appreciate the doctor's second and "lower" exam, screaming as badly as she does when she gets her shots.  The doctor's conclusion was for me to get glycerin suppositories and Miralax and give either a try.  In her experience, the butt bullets would provide faster relief, though.

So M opened the suppositories, took one look at them, and then looked at me, "this is NOT going to be fun for her, or us."

I will spare you the details, let's just say that we couldn't even get it in before she started straining, screaming, crying hysterically, and trembling; breaking our hearts in the process.  I have never seen her in so much pain.  And because I'm sure you value whatever meal you just ate, I won't tell you why we needed to throw out a plastic baby spoon...

It lasted about an hour, and then she fell asleep immediately afterwards.  I hope to never relive that again - and I'm sure she does, too.

P.S. I can't tell you all, my readers, how much I love you.  With all of my posts, Facebook updates, and Tweets about poop I was sure that I would lose a bunch of followers.  Somehow I have managed to gain a few in the last couple days.  I really appreciate your suggestions yesterday, as well as your help and support.  <3 you, seriously.

P.S.S. I woke up to find that ColonBlow.com is now following me on Twitter.  LOL, that's all I got.

Quick, before I have to resort to sticking something in there...

Do you have any uncommon cures for baby constipation?  Carina's last 'movement of the bowels' was LAST Saturday.

We've tried:

• Water
• Pears
• Prune juice
• Massage
• Warm baths
• Jumperoo

Next up on our list is putting a thermometer in her pooper. We would like to avoid this if at all possible.

We called the doctor last night and they told us to keep doing the things we have tried, and to call back tonight if the eagle still has not yet landed.

Still happy, yay!

She doesn't really seem to be in any pain, thank goodness, which is almost unbelievable considering how backed up she must be.  I am going to be SO happy when this is all over.  I'm afraid it is going to be Poopocalypse Strikes Again...

I guess another question would be, how do you keep your baby regular?  I can't believe I'm asking this.  Uggh.  The joys of being a Mommy.

My dumbest idea ever

**Epic baby grossness warning**

Carina has been quite constipated lately. Fortunately there hasn't been a repeat poopocalypse yet, but she has been going for a few days at a time without dropping a deuce.

At some point yesterday, after a couple days without any emergent turds, M asked if she had pooped yet.  I didn't see any through her diaper and my nose had not yet been assaulted by any baby stink, but I just wanted to be sure so I held aside the back of one of the leg holes of her diaper and inhaled.

WHAT the EFF was I thinking?

I have no idea what possessed me to smell inside her diaper.  I would like to be able to tell you that I was drunk or half asleep - but no, I was alert and a willing participant in this diaper investigation.

So what did I find?  My nose discovered that the eagle had in fact, landed...and it was heinous.  And I just about passed out from the stench.

Folks, don't try this at home.

Poopocalypse 2011

*DISCLAIMER: This post is gross. Stop reading now if you'd like the contents of your stomach to remain where they are. Growing Up Geeky cannot be held liable for costs pertaining to the repair of barf-covered computers and accessories.

Carina was abnormally fussy last weekend. Every time I set her down her face started to contort into the dreaded pout, then came the cry, and lastly the tears. I attributed it to teething pain, as I had recently fed her, changed her, played with her, and cuddled her. She didn't have a fever, either.

After an hour or so of unceasing grumpy baby, I laid her on the changing table again thinking that an offensive diaper might be to blame. She immediately started crying again and didn't even stop when I handed her the Baby Einstein toy that plays her favorite classical music. This toy ALWAYS makes her stop crying. So, frustrated Mama that I was, I sang "Fuss, fuss fuss, fuss fuss fuss fuss fuss FUSS!" to the tune of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik to keep myself sane as she continued to scream.

That's when I realized what was going on. My poor little peanut must have been ridiculously constipated. Blocked up to the point where any pressure on her little belly or bum was excruciatingly painful. Instead of heading out to the store to get some prune juice or suppositories, we decided to wait it out for a little while. Big mistake.

The only thing that kept her calm was nursing, so I kept her curled up across my chest while I massaged her belly gently.  I witnessed a number of loud fart sounds and my nose fell victim to an epic stink, but when I pulled aside her diaper with the enthusiasm of a little kid running down the stairs on Christmas morning, I was disappointed and frustrated to see that Santa had not yet come. I was ready to grab the keys and make haste for the butt bullets (yes, this is what I called suppositories back in my Pharmacy Technician days), but Carina actually fell asleep. I think all of the crying and straining had her pooped - ha, I wish in more ways than one.

I put her in the crib and let her be for a while. I came back in to check on her and was greeted by a stench so heinous I gagged and ran out of the room. I needed reinforcements, so I grabbed M and made him peer into the crib at which point he started laughing so loud he almost woke her up. For what he saw was a peaceful sleeping peanut, surrounded by a reservoir of diarrhea. Fortunately I had had the forethought to put an extra blanket down underneath her in case this very situation arose, but the blanket wasn't enough to contain it. It started spreading...quickly...so much so that we actually considered waking her up. But after her sad, sad morning we decided that it would be better to let her sleep, despite the assault on all of our senses that was getting worse by the minute.

What you can't see in this photo is the poo reservoir starting to form at the back of her diaper.  Everything in this crib was harmed in the making of this poopocalypse.  I don't know if the seahorse will ever recover from the experience.

After she woke up we carefully peeled her off of the blanket and threw the entire contents of the crib, in addition to every single piece of clothing she was wearing, directly into the washer. She was all smiles at this point. The turd had passed, leaving a happy baby and a roomful of soiled linens in its wake. Curse you, epic poop, for making our baby so miserable and covering everything in sight in a fugly shade of brownish green.

I would like to take a moment to thank OxiClean Baby, for without it, nothing that had been swimming in the lake of refuse would have survived. From here on out, we will keep a supply of suppositories and prune juice on hand. I vow to never let Carina suffer like this again. My poor baby :(