Extrication

Oh my.

::dusts off cobwebs::

It's been a while.

My computer died about two weeks ago, and then something funny happened - or didn't happen. I never felt any sense of urgency to go buy a new one. Had my computer given up on life 6 Months ago, I would have run out immediately to pick up a replacement because I couldn't have lived without a big screen and a keyboard at my fingertips.

Now, many a night I am too tired from work, playing with the girls, and cleaning up the house that I don't even get a chance to turn on my computer. So the fact that I didn't have one for a couple weeks was no big deal. Until I realized I forgot to pay some of our bills...oops.

Finally, yesterday, I joined the dark side. After almost 18 years using only PCs, I now have a Mac. My brand new MacBook Pro is perched on my lap and it's the perfect size and the track pad is awesome (I haven't even needed to attach my mouse yet!) and the mail program lets me see my 3 different e-mail accounts in one window. I'm in love ::humps computer::

But can we talk a little more about the fact that my computer hiatus made me realize how addicted to the internet I used to be? I tried to break myself from it once and to be truthful, I didn't have much luck. I was dependent upon social media for a long time, more so than I want to admit to myself. I checked my blog stats multiple times a day, stressing if they were lower than average. I took to Twitter for conversations rather than talking with my husband, who was sitting right next to me on the couch. I followed Carina around with my phone, getting frustrated when I couldn't snap the perfect photo of her to post on Instagram.

Yikes.

This became too big of a part of my life. I didn't like the Mom, wife, or me it had turned me into.

So I've made a conscious effort to limit computer time and as evidenced by the 2 week break, I'm succeeding. I don't intend to abandon this blog as I still love to write and very much want to continue to do it, I've just managed to extricate myself from the pressure I was feeling to post/tweet/update multiple times a day. I haven't checked my stats in weeks. I'm lucky if I make it on Twitter or Instagram once every few days.

And we're all better off...

Favorite Posts of 2012

We're just hours away from a new year and I thought it would be fun to reflect a little on the year that is almost over. I spent a few minutes looking at my stats and posts that I've written during the last 365 days and have compiled a few things:

The top 12 most-viewed posts of 2012! In descending order of pageviews:

1. Easy Five Ingredient Stuffed Shells (OMG I can cook!)
2. I just can't keep this from you any longer
3. A peek into our living room!
4. A peek into our kitchen(s)!
5. Aurelia's Birth Story
6. Feel like I've been punched in the gut
7. I'm a breastfeeding in public hypocrite
8. Budget freakout & my NOO face
9. Carina's Nursery
10. One of the worst things about being pregnant
11. Things I Actually Say: LABOR EDITION
12. I think I've become a frumpy Mom

Best {and by best I mean most ridiculous} search terms of the year:

milf beauty contest
pretty girls with stretchmarks
boys gaining bloating balloon beer bellies
princess bitchypants
geeky birthing nightie 

My {personal} favorite posts of the year:

Super easy chocolate fudge - you'll want to eat all of it
The Pregnant Problems series
Dear Diary - a glimpse into my 6-year-old mind
More embarrassing things from my closet
Sense of dignity? Gone (TMI)
Teach your kids what breasts are for
I wish I had known it was the last time
Jennifer =/= Sophia: breaking down baby name popularity
HEY UNIVERSE CHECK OUT MY HAMHOCKS! (a Mike post)
My Classification Levels of Poop Severity

Happy New Year, friends! Thanks so much for making this such a great year. If you blog, what was your favorite blog post of the year? Please feel free to link up!

My Challenge to 2012: Verdict is in

Last year I dared 2012 to top 2011. And? It did.

The year began with us getting settled in back on the East Coast. Visiting our families no longer required two flights and eight hours of traveling from start to finish.

January 2012

It wasn't long before we received some surprising yet much welcomed news. 

4 weeks pregnant - check out that bloat!

Then Carina started walking. Life would never be the same ;)

My Father-in-law beat cancer.



We vacationed with both of our families over the summer.

In VA Beach with Mike's family

I did something for myself for the first time in a long long time; I went to BlogHer in New York City. I had an amazing time.

Bloggy friends, everywhere!

On September 23rd, I took my "due date" photo with Carina. 12 hours later, Aurelia was born.

And wow, has she grown. Born at 7 lbs. 3 oz, she is now tipping the scales at 15.5 lbs.

Carina has grown, too. And nope, I definitely did not ugly cry while putting the below collage together. Nope, no ::sob:: tears here.

January                                                       April                                                       July

September                                                  December

While the year hasn't been without its challenges, namely Carina's failure to thrive diagnosis and my recent bout with post-partum anxiety, on the whole, it has been our best yet.

Can't wait to see what 2013 brings.

<center> <a href="http://www.growingupgeeky.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x324/mchupie/Growing_up_Geeky/tatbutton150.png" /></a></center>
This week's Toddle Along Tuesday co-host is Ainslie from Mammarazzi and topic is Year in Review! What big things happened in your family this year? Share some of your favorite photos! There are no rules here, except that you link up a relevant post (old or new) rather than your whole blog.


I'll be taking a TAT break until January 7th. The topic that day will be favorite holiday gift. Share your favorite or your child's favorite!

The tiniest Eagles cheerleader

Every now and then when Carina gets bored with her toys we'll snuggle up on the couch together and watch videos of other babies laughing, dancing, and snuggling or torturing playing with pets. I have a number of old videos of Carina stored on my computer so we watch those, sometimes, too. She has just begun to recognize herself and exclaims, "baby KEENA!" whenever I press play. "Keena" would be her current pronunciation of her own name.

Today we watched this one and I smiled and laughed for miles. If only we could all be this happy about something as simple as shaking a pom pom.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Balance must be found! (or how I am going to attempt to find it, since I have none) - Toddle Along Tuesday

And we're back! I survived BlogHer and didn't go into labor on vacation - woohoo! I'll have lots on both the conference and the beach over the next week or so, but for now? I'd like to start things off with a realization.

As I sit here scrambling to finish this post just ten minutes prior to its scheduled publishing as well as do three loads of laundry, attempt to get the sleep-striking baby to nod off, clean up from dinner, and somehow manage to stay sane doing it all, it has become pretty clear to me that I don't currently have much balance in my life. At the end of each day I frantically attempt to get everything done and end up exhausted, finally falling into bed much, much later than I promised myself I would. We still haven't gotten into a good routine that allows for all of the cooking/cleaning/housework to get done and for both Mike and I to have enough time on our own, or even together, sans baby.

I think it's safe to say that our lives have been like this - just a bit chaotic - since Carina was born first with my work schedule changing multiple times, then the move to Connecticut, and now my lack of energy as I near freakishly huge pregnancy proportions.

What's that - time away from me? Why would you EVER want that?!?

This lack of balance has often led to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and just general failure. I wish I could do it all, but there's just no way...especially when I can barely walk across the house without getting winded or needing to stop to pee for the gazillionth time in the last half hour.

So, to inject a little bit of balance into our lives I am going to attempt the following:

1. Begin meal planning again, and include 1 meal per week that is easily freezable (like my easy stuffed shells). Make a double batch of the freezer-friendly meal for a quick and easy meal after the baby comes.
2. Make a cleaning schedule and stick to it. If anyone has an examples of one they use, I'd love to see!  
3. Stop posting on the weekends. I have a lengthy list of posts I want to write and it has been my goal for quite some time now to get through it. This usually means I end up posting every day. Well? I don't need to conquer the list. I have to learn to just keep my mouth shut ;) 
4. Start grocery shopping or running errands - by myself - on the weekends, and encourage Mike to get out for a little while each week as well.
5. Find a babysitter we trust. We have to stop dragging our feet on this - Momma & Daddy need a night out once in a while!

<center> <a href="http://www.growingupgeeky.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x324/mchupie/Growing_up_Geeky/tatbutton150.png" /></a></center>

My co-host for Toddle Along Tuesday this week is Jen from Leilaland and the topic is finding balance! How do you maintain a sense of balance in your life? Any tips to share? Or if you're balance-challenged like me, let's hear about it! There are no rules here, except that you link up a relevant post (old or new) rather than your whole blog. Please don't link up your shop or business - I have pretty inexpensive advertising options should you be interested in exposure.


Next week's topic is your favorite baby item! With my due date only 6 weeks away (ummm...eek?!) I am eager to hear what item you loved most when your little one was a newbie. Momma needs to make a shopping list ;)

If you like advance notice for TAT, check out the bottom right of my blog - topics for the next couple months are listed. Would you like to submit a topic idea and/or volunteer to co-host one week? E-mail me!

Will she want to wear pants to her wedding, too? ;)

When I was young, I was a tomboy. I wore the same red baseball cap every day for years and refused to wear skirts or dresses. Not kidding, I even joked with family and friends that I would wear pants to my wedding someday. Playing with bugs was one of my favorite pastimes and in general I spent most of my time outside whenever possible.

I've changed quite a bit since then. While still fascinated by bugs (my favorite college course was Entomology), I would rather not touch them. Skirts and dresses are now my favorite things to wear and I bet you can guess that there were no pants at our wedding. Wait...there were, just not on me ;)

Observing Carina's budding personality has been almost like a flashback for me. I see so much of myself in her. She wants to explore everything: from rocks to sticks to leaves to insects. She would rather poke and prod at dirt - and sometimes eat it, too - than play with dolls. She much prefers to be outside and trying to get her to come in has become a challenge!

Outside!

Her new favorite thing to do? Climb. On everything. Up and down the stairs at the playground over and over again...Momma can't keep up with her anymore.

The one problem this has led to? Skinned knees. Almost every time we go to the park she either falls down or scrapes her knees on something. The folks at KneeBees sent us some pink knee pads and they have been the perfect way to keep her skinned knee-free. Most of the time they just look like little leggings underneath her skirts or dresses, but unlike leggings, they are thick enough to not rip or fray when she falls. Sure, they might be a little geeky looking, but would you expect anything less from me? ;)

Wearing her KneeBees

Thanks to KneeBees for letting Carina run and climb to her heart's content without worrying about booboos. Oh man, did I really just type "booboos"? ::shakes head at self:: I've gone soft.

Were you a tomboy growing up? And/or are your girls turning out that way?


I received the item(s) mentioned above free of charge for reviewing purposes. All opinions are honest, and my own. 
 

Everything is going to be okay, Mommy

I confessed to you just over a month ago that I was having a hard time getting excited for this baby. I felt terrible and still feel terrible about it, considering how excited I was {almost} every minute of my first pregnancy.

Well, then a few things happened. First, I went about six days without feeling so much as a single tap from deuce, and it made me really nervous. What if something had happened? The thought of losing this baby resulted in my crying myself to sleep one night.

And then almost as if on cue, I felt him/her the next morning. He hasn't let up since. I think he (why do I keep thinking he?) wanted me to know that he's okay.

That it is all going to be okay.

Then I received my diaper cake, which I am completely just a little bit obsessed with. I haven't purchased anything for the new baby yet, so the diapers and baby things in the diaper cake are essentially deuce's first belongings. He/she will be snuggling the stuffed monkey in just a couple of months. We'll use the diapers on his tiny bum (eeek!) It's becoming real.

Lastly, Carina has had some really funny personality quirks emerge in the last few weeks. She cracks me up all.the.time. Watching her personality develop has been one of the most special and rewarding experiences of my life. And soon? I'll get to experience that all over again with a completely different person.

What will this baby be like? Will he/she have a hilarious sense of humor like she does? (e.g. will she giggle and shout "poo poo!" when M breaks heinous wind?) Will he look like M? Will he be type-A like me?

I don't know. But what I do know? I can't wait to find out.

Sell out

Somehow this post is less painful for me to write if I sing "Sell Out" by Reel Big Fish in my head as I'm typing. Bear with me, please.

I know I've alluded to the fact that money is really tight a few times now. We've cut back quite a bit, I clip coupons religiously, and we don't buy anything we don't need. I haven't bought myself any new clothes since early on in my first pregnancy. (Quick background - unfortunately, post doctoral fellowships don't pay much at all, even if it's at an Ivy League University. My non-compete agreement from my company is rock solid and boooo they aggressively enforce it; it doesn't expire until the end of August. I've looked for other jobs but nothing I've found would have me making enough to pay for daycare and still have some to spare.)

For a little while we thought we might sign up for WIC and energy assistance - we qualify for both. We just kept on putting it off in the hopes that we could figure something else out. And luckily, I think we have. But, I have mixed emotions about it.

This blog has always been for me. First it was my outlet when we were trying to conceive, then it transitioned into my pregnancy journal, and finally Carina's baby book. Now I guess we've come full circle with the impending arrival of baby geek #2. My focus has always been what is going on in my life - with just a dash of product reviews and giveaways of items I think you all will be interested in.

My focus will still be what is going on in my life - and I will post just as much as I have up until now. The change will be this; in addition to my regularly scheduled posts, I will be posting maybe once a week about other products, stores/companies, sponsored topics, and giveaways that might interest you. It might not seem like that big of a deal, and it really isn't (as most other bloggers do this), but it's still hard for me to make this change.

Maybe I'm being silly in caring so much about this, and in explaining myself like this to you. Maybe the majority of you really don't care? I just would hate to turn you off, lose you as a reader, or have you think I've turned to the dark side or something. I'm not doing this to be greedy. And I promise I'm not going to turn my blog into an endless stream of commercials. I'm humbling myself before you and admitting that it was either this, or financial dire straits for us.

I hope you understand. And now for some super cute {and silly} baby.

On One Year of Breastfeeding (and Beyond?)

I grew Carina on the inside for 9 months, and have continued to help her grow on the outside now for 1 year. I breastfed her exclusively for her first 6 months of life, but didn't start to decrease the amount I nursed her until just recently, as she never really took to table food until now.

Taking a snoozy break from nursing at 2 days old

I don't know when I'll wean her. For now, the only thing I am sure of is that I'm not ready yet, and she doesn't seem to be either. She has, however, been getting whole milk in a sippy cup with her meals for the last two weeks and is doing great! She seems to like it. But still, first thing after she wakes up in the morning, before each of her two naps, prior to bed, and usually 1-2 additional times, she nurses.

To be honest, the time she spends snuggled up against me nursing is my favorite part of the day. I will miss it so much after I wean her. My task right now is to somehow bring myself to a place where I'll be emotionally ready as soon as she is. Yikes. I can't believe I already have to think about this; time has gone by way too fast.

Can I confess that as excited as I am at the prospect of more independence (after I wean her, anyone can feed her at any time - this would have been true a long time ago had she ever been okay with bottles), I will be sad that she no longer needs me the way she does now. I won't have this claim to her anymore; at any time, anywhere, I can scoop her up and retreat to a quiet place for our snuggly nursing time. After I wean her, it won't be the same. Not going to cry... ::gets it together::

It's funny to look back on how I was feeling during every step of the way...

• At 2 months I felt like a milk factory
• At 6 months I talked about my love of nursing
• At 9 months I tried to give my left boob a pep talk due to it's decision to slack off

Now, at 1 year, my supply is slowing even further. Carina usually has to nurse for a couple minutes before I let down; it isn't ready and waiting all the time like it used to be. I'm not sure whether or not this is normal at this point, or if I should pump a little or return to my Mother's Milk tea. Any 1 year plus nursers out there? What is(was) your supply like at 1 year?

Well that was anticlimactic

Yesterday was my birthday; I turned 28. I guess it's time to start calling myself late-twenties?

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

My January 3rd birthday has often been semi-forgotten as a result of its proximity to both Christmas and New Years. When Carina was born on December 28th, it has become even worse. This year I didn't even realize my birthday was right around the corner until the evening of January 1st.

Yesterday was no different than any other day, except that I got a pass to order whatever I wanted from the pizza place down the street (which I did - pepperoni pizza, mozzarella sticks, AND cheese fries...I can feel my arteries constricting as I type).

The weird thing is, it really doesn't bother me. The intention of this post isn't to whine...I guess it's just to say that I'm okay with simply acknowledging the day (so long as I can also gorge myself on greasy unforgiving takeout). The fanfare, elaborate gifts, and excitement that accompanied my birthday in years past just don't seem necessary anymore.


Does anyone else feel like their birthday has become anticlimactic? Is this a normal life transition? Or am I weird?

P.S. My gift from M arrives today! Check this baby out. Can't wait to play with it.

Through the eyes of a child

We took Carina to Enchanted Village on her birthday last week. My family went almost every year {when it was open} when I was younger. We used to make a whole weekend event out of it; we stayed at the Copley Marriott in Boston and went shopping at the Prudential Center and oohed and ahhed over all of the animatronic dolls in their Victorian finery. I loved it. I knew it would be the perfect birthday outing for Carina.

Every time the fake snow started, Carina flailed her legs and arms and squealed. Pure joy. 

Watching the "snow" start

Eeeeeeeeeee!

The Sweet Shop

Frock Shop (lol)

More "snow"!

She could not get enough of it

Carina and Mimi

Clapping in anticipation of the "snow"

Here it comes!

She wouldn't stop pointing at it

One of the family home scenes

Sleepy baby

Watching the excitement on her face in response to fake snow took my breath away. I think we all should take a cue from our children and try to enjoy the simple things in life as much as they do. We'd be all the better for it.